Let’s end poverty, folks!

Blog Action Day 2008 is a day in which members of various online communities yap about a particular cause in order to raise awareness and effect change. This year’s topic is poverty.

Not sure if you know this, but… there is no insta-cure for poverty. Seriously.

But as fellow human beings who do not — or should not — take joy in the misfortune of others, the least we can do is take a moment to focus on a way to help, if we are so fortunate enough to be in a position to do so.

For my part, today I am officially scheduling a pickup of multiple bags of clothing I have been putting off for a while. If you have items you would like to donate, but are either too lazy to make the trip to a local Goodwill or Salvation Army drop-off or just don’t know where or how to do it, I will help! Shoot me an email, or give me a call (if you have the digits!) and I will help you arrange. This may not seem like much, but the saying “one persons trash is another person’s treasure” is quite true. That’s why Craigslist is so popular!

Here are some ideas of items you should think about donating:

• Shoes you’ve outgrown
  Stop clinging to those fresh pair of Nike kicks you can’t fit into without curling up your toes. Someone out there is shoeless and those relatively decent tiny toe-squeezers may brighten up their day. Just. Let. Go.
• Jerseys of players who no longer play for the same team
  In the back of many a closet lies the forgotten team members of yesteryear. Stephen Davis I have a few of these stuck in my closet that I will never wear again. They are included in my donation stash and you and yours may want (and need) to part ways as well. Remember, your old throwback Stephen Davis Washington Redskins jersey may be junk to you, but bring joy to some other kid who has never had a jersey before in their life.
• Hats!
  Your head may have expanded through your years of education. Why not give up those that you used to love wearing, but can no longer fit? One day you’re a collector, the next a pack rat.
• Plain Old Old Clothes
  Maybe your style has changed from geek to chic. Maybe you used to wear small shirts to make you: look muscular (dudes) or chest-clinging “Angel” tees (girlies). It is time to let go. Why not donate that stuff to someone two can appreciate the retro style and/or actually fit in that extra SMedium t-shirt?

Feel free to leave a comment about other suggestions for folks to donate. Like I said, let me know if you need my help. Or, if you find a place online to donate, post it in the comment section. At any rate, let’s do our part for THE CAUSE!

To me, it is a matter of human decency. America is grand because we one of the most charitable nations of the world. I take an enormous amount of pride in that. You should too.

The economy is bleak right now and some of us are swimming in bills, but if you can do one tiny thing today to help out the life of someone else, do it!

Resources

• Blog Action Day List O’ Resources
• CharityGuide.org: How to make a difference in 15 minutes
• Change.org
• Military Order of the Purple Heart
• Salvation Army

Luck has never been readily available in my life. In fact, as it has been said many times, “if it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have luck.” Fantasy football has been no exception to the rule. Instead it has been a cruel demonstration of how unlucky I am. Consider in 2007, four times a receiver scored 30+ fantasy points versus my squads. Fast forward to today and, one week into the season, I have already had three 30+ point performances posted against me. That’s only a small problem when your first and second round picks were Brady and Colston. Let me keep reaching for the cheese.

I began playing fantasy football in 2000 without knowledge of the phenomenon that was so soon to follow. Nearly every player I drafted fell into a land of obscurity. Eddie George displayed MVP numbers in 2000. After drafting George 3rd overall in the 2001 draft, he produced pedestrian numbers. Ricky Williams totaled over 2200 yards in 2002, but in 2003 (on my fantasy team), he produced 500 yards and 7 touchdowns beneath his 2002 totals. These are just a few of the numerous examples that led me to understand I was unintentionally destroying careers.

Destroying careers needed an accurate name. Fantasy Protection Program. If you are a #1 QB, RB, or WR and want to perform as a #4, join the squad. We’ll protect you from the pressures of performance. Provide you with names irrelevant to the fantasy world such as Heath Schuler, Tatum Bell (unless your fantasy league provides points for sprinting thru hallways with a former teammate’s bags), and Courtney Taylor (35 catches this season? Please comment). Many would consider this a curse, but in the business of fantasy football, I hold the kryptonite to Superman. I have the power to affect football seasons by simply stating a name.

Superheroes are completely useless until one can harness his powers. However, evil can spray powers in all directions without care or concern for others. Evil usually does not have the mental stability necessary for complete destruction. Lack of stability almost always leads to evil’s demise. With that said, if evil powers are harnessed can they be considered good? Depends on who you ask.

As the evil Patriots had established a dynasty I attempted to summon my “evil” powers, before the 07 football season, by drafting as many Patriots as possible. As I stated previously, my fantasy selections lead to the demise of careers. Even with powers centralized I was unable to land a single Patriot (there’s a fine line between attempting to destroy evil while winning a fantasy title). The Patriots then produced two of the greatest fantasy seasons in history. Let alone almost walking into Mercury Morris’ door. Coincidence? Not a chance.

Determined to not allow evil to ruin the ‘08 season, I fired cannonballs at the Patriots’ ship. Selecting 4th in the Bugfockers fantasy football draft, I was just outside the first tier of running backs. Tom Brady was not going to throw 95,045,832 passes without me joining the ride. “I’ll take Tom Brady.” Many thanks ensued as my powers have become very well known. Seven days later we all witnessed the first cause and effect of my selection. The attack on the Patriots ship was successful, but the counter-attack on the Fantasy Protection Program was just as deadly. One difference — the captain is no longer on the Patriots’ ship.

Left quarterback-less, the waiver wire decision-making process began. I desperately needed a running back to help boost production from my backs (mainly because I did not select a running back until round 6… I’m screwed). The Patriots’ Sammy Morris was the easy choice – to sink their ship and try to keep mine afloat. The quarterback options were, but not limited to: Pennington, Edwards, Jackson, and Cassel. Originally I was inclined to choose Pennington, but then, remembering an injured Drew Bledsoe birthing the career of Tom Brady, I changed course. Will Cassel’s situation be the same? Not if I can help it.

When you take out the captain you can’t leave mates to control the boat. You must sink the whole damn ship. If my fantasy ship sinks during battle, then so be it. Patriot’s fans get out your life vests – I’m already wearing mine.

Alright sports fans, here is the anointed moment where I will extend predictions for the remainder of the season and embarrass myself in the process. What follows is not intended for children under the age of 36, and I highly recommend wearing protection while reading is in progress.

In the NL, I have predicted the Mets, Cubs, and D-Backs to win their respective divisions. With further foresight, I will select the Milwaukee Brewers to win the NL Wild Card, and meet the top-ranked Cubs in the first round of the playoffs. The 2-seed Mets will meet the 3-seed Diamondbacks, and the Diamondbacks will emerge victorious behind the 1-2 punch of Webb and Haren. The Brewers and Cubs will go the full 5 games, and Milwaukee will topple Chicago; thereby, ensuring that utopia isn’t realized on the north side of Chicago for at least another year. In the NLCS, the Brewers offense will prove too strong for the offensively challenged D-Backs, and they will earn a trip to the 2008 World Series.

In the AL, I have divined that the Red Sox, White Sox, and Angels will all win their divisions. My crystal ball has told me that there is a great sale going on at Kohl’s this weekend, and that the Minnesota Twins will win the AL Wild Card. The Twins will get the unenviable honor of meeting the 1-seed Angles in the first round of the playoffs, where their season will come to a close. The 2-seed Red Sox and 3-seed White Sox will also meet, and Chicago will outlast Boston in 5 games. Anaheim and Chicago will go the full 7 games, but the White Sox will earn the right to represent the AL in the World Series.

The Brewers and White Sox will make for abysmal television ratings, but the series will go 6 games with Milwaukee laying claim to the title. The clouds over Wisconsin will disperse and head straight for Illinois, beer will run through the streets (as will I), and C.C. Sabathia will wind up on the cover of Time magazine. Now, it is said that with great power comes great responsibility; hence, I feel it is my duty to tell anyone planning to place monetary bets based upon the information that I’ve given that I will undoubtedly be proven wrong. There, I’ve covered myself; and, that, as they say, is that.

The 6-team royal rumble that is the NL Central has turned out to be one of baseball’s strongest and most competitive divisions. Chicago stands at an impressive 16 games over .500, however, their margin of error remains small as Milwaukee and surprise St. Louis are 1 and 2 games back, respectively. Cincinnati, despite being only 4 games under .500, find themselves a whopping 10 games off the division lead. If they played in the NL West, they’d be tied for 2nd place and a mere 1 game back. Houston and lowly Pittsburgh are tied for cellar honors at 12 games back.

The Cubs haven’t won a World Series in 100 years, and I’m sure the Wrigley bandwagon is a bit crowded these days due to the rampant circulation of that fact; nonetheless, their lineup is loaded with talent. Derrek Lee (64, 15, 59, .298), who appears fully recovered from a wrist injury that he sustained in 06’ and sapped his power numbers in 07’, and third baseman, Aramis Ramirez (59, 17, 66, .269), continue to anchor the order. Asian sensation and residential hatamoto, Kosuke Fukudome (61, 7, 36, .279), has provided the steady left handed bat the Cubs have lacked in recent years. Rookie receiver, Geovany Soto (38, 16, 56, .275), has been a pleasant surprise and boon to the offense. Even Padre wash out, Jimmy Edmonds (26, 11, 37, .237), has been spotted parking balls on the opposite side of the ivy around game time. Alfonso Soriano (36, 15, 40, .283), the world’s worst lead off hitter, has had an injury riddled campaign, as he’s already spent 2 stints on the DL (strained calf, broken finger). Despite that fact, he’s managed to post solid numbers when playing, and his imminent return should serve to bolster an already potent lineup.

Chicago has been the recipient of some solid pitching, thus far. Ace and clubhouse boxing champ, Carlos Zambrano (2.98 ERA, 1.26 WHIP, 81/44 K/BB, 10-4), has spent much of the year pitching like a #2; however, he is without doubt the best hitting pitcher in the league, and could reasonably bat 6th or 7th on a nightly basis (20-57; .351 Avg). Ryan Dempster (3.05 ERA, 1.16 WHIP, 111/51 K/BB, 11-4) has made a successful transition to the rotation from the closing role that he’s held for the past 3 seasons, and Ted Lilly (4.49 ERA, 1.33 WHIP, 114/43 K/BB, 9-6) has provided quality pitching, as well. In the bullpen, Bobby Howry continues to carry BP over into the game as he’s given up almost as many earned runs (25) as K’d batsmen (35). During the first quarter of the season, Carlos Marmol (4.05 ERA, 1.01 WHIP, 70/25 K/BB) was so good that the defense actually started holding a poker game behind the 2nd base bag when he was on the mound, but has struggled with control issues of late. We have already seen Kerry Wood (3.02 ERA, 1.01 WHIP, 55/13 K/BB, 24 saves) evolve from the next Roger Clemens into the next Chicagoan Wal-Mart attendant, and this season has seen him further evolve into the next John Smoltz (well, sort of).

There is hope in Milwaukee, these days, and not simply because there are beer breweries on every corner. The Brewers’ offense is led by their version of Big and Rob, Prince Fielder (54, 20, 58, .275) and Ryan Braun (56, 25, 72, .294); who, I might add, are probably funnier than the real Big and Rob in their sleep. Corey Hart (52, 16, 59, .284) continues to develop into a formidable player, and J.J. Hardy (47, 14, 45, .296) seems to finally have figured out how to hit a pitch that isn’t an inside fastball. Mike Cameron hasn’t let his 30-game suspension affect his play, as his current .229 average remains in line with his career numbers.

The Brewers pitching is truly a mixed bag, as they commingle studs and stiffs as seamlessly as a political dinner party. Ben Sheets (2.88 ERA, 1.15 WHIP, 111/29 K/BB, 10-3) has managed to remain healthy, much to the detriment of opposing hitters. C.C. Sabathia (1.36 ERA, 31/8 K/BB, 4-0, 3 CGs), last season’s AL Cy Young winner and prized mid-season acquisition, has been on an absolute tear since joining the Brewers. Converted reliever, Manny Parra (3.68 ERA, 1.47 WHIP, 87/52 K/BB, 9-2), has also provided some stability in the rotation. All has not been sunny, however, as Jeff Suppan (4.65 ERA, 1.59 WHIP, 56 ER, 58 Ks) continues to get shelled at a rate that has forced the Milwaukee brass to replace or repair home plate several times this season. Uber-prospect and ace-to-be, Yovani Gallardo, had his brief 08’ campaign ended by a torn ACL. Eric Gagne, who was without question the game’s most dominant closer between 02’-04’, has been so bad that his stat line will not be included in this article. Luckily for the Brew-Crew, ex-Pirate, Salomon Torres (2.68 ERA, 1.25 WHIP, 34/20 K/BB), was waiting in the wings, and has converted 18 of 22 chances since taking over the closer’s role.
If there’s one thing that the Cardinals’ first half performance has taught us, is that the wizard behind the curtain is actually two, and their names are Tony LaRussa and Dave Duncan. At the outset of the season, St. Louis was a curious mix of washed up veterans, unproven youth, and a few of the player’s wives and girlfriends; however, that same sundry bunch is currently in the thick of the playoff hunt. The offense, per usual, revolves around the best hitter in baseball and lineup anchor, Albert Pujols (55, 18, 56, .349). Converted pitcher, Rick Ankiel (56, 22, 58, .276), and itinerate outfielder, Ryan Ludwick (65, 23, 69, .290), continue to make a living off of teams thinking better of pitching to them and not Pujols. The offseason saw the bellicose and oft-injured Scott Rolen get shipped off to Toronto in exchange for equally brittle, Troy Glaus (49, 18, 66, .278). Glaus, however, has remained healthy and is once again producing the kind of power numbers that made him an all-star in the past.

The real sleight-of-hand in St.Louis can be seen in the deft handling of the pitching staff by skippers, LaRussa and Duncan. Incumbent ace, Chris Carpenter, has yet to throw a pitch in 08’, and his rehab from Tommy John surgery has him on track to return in early to mid-August. Mark Mulder has managed just 1 start this season due to recurring rotator cuff and shoulder issues. Former closer and default ace, Adam Wainwright (3.14, 1.09, 62/20 K/BB, 6-3), continued to develop into a promising starter until a torn finger tendon sidelined him in early June. Even bullpen stalwart, Jason Isringhausen (6.17 ERA, 1.63 WHIP, 27/17 K/BB), has made 2 trips to the DL (abdominal strain/hand laceration), in addition to being generally ineffective when healthy.

Amidst the ever growing casualty list, Tony LaRussa, who in the grand tradition of Nugget O’Cass (who doesn’t need a gun because he’s got a Donk), doesn’t need healthy pitchers (or even good ones) because he’s got a Duncan (see Dundee, Crocodile for reference). Career stiff and rumored Safeway bag-boy-to-be, Kyle Lohse (3.35 ERA, 1.23 WHIP, 70/31 K/BB, 12-2), has turned his career around in a big way. This is the same Kyle Lohse who has never finished a season with an ERA under 4.00, and has posted 2 winning records in 7 major league seasons. The guy has pitched like a true ace, and I will venture to say that if he keeps pitching at this rate he will be under serious consideration for the NL Cy Young at season’s end. Converted relievers, Todd Wellemeyer (4.19 ERA, 1.30 WHIP, 79/39 K/BB, 8-4) and Braden Looper (4.49 ERA, 1.42 WHIP, 9-8), have also performed above expectations. Former batting practice hurler, Ryan Franklin (3.94 ERA, 1.54 WHIP, 14 saves), has successfully converted 14 of 19 chances since stepping into the closer’s role.

The Cincinnati offense, in concert with the 200 foot fence at The Great American Ballpark, is built to hit it far and trot slowly, afterwards. They currently rank 4th in the NL in homers (119), due in no small part to the launching pad that is Adam Dunn (55, 29, 66, .237). 2nd baseman, Brandon Phillips (58, 16, 62, .275, 21 SBs), should finish the season as a member of the 30-30 club, again. Junior Griffey (48, 13, 49, .243) continues to be an offensive force despite his advancing age, and Jerry Hairston (34, 2, 22, .351, 15 SBs), has excelled at the top of the order, as well as being a vast improvement over automatic out, Corey Patterson (736/161 K/BB for career dating back to 2000).

The Reds’ rotation has experienced its share of ups and downs this year. Edison Volquez (2.49 ERA, 1.28 WHIP, 129/59 K/BB, 12-3), who came to Cincinnati in exchange for sending Josh Hamilton to Texas, has been nothing short of lights out, thus far. Fellow young gun, Johnny Cueto (4.90 ERA, 1.36 WHIP, 113/46 K/BB, 7-9), burst onto the scene in April with a 7 inning, 10 K performance that sent fantasy owners everywhere scurrying to their computers. His subsequent rookie struggles have arrived in turn, however, adding more credence to this writer’s humble opinion that one should never listen to an ESPN analyst not named Gammons, Olney, or Miller when baseball is the topic of discussion. Fallen ace, Aaron Harang (4.76 ERA, 1.40 WHIP, 108/34 K/BB, 3-11), has been on the wrong side of terrible for most of the season despite a healthy K/BB ratio. In the bullpen, Jeremy Affeldt (3.75 ERA, 1.43 WHIP, 53/20 K/BB) and Mike Lincoln (3.54 ERA, 1.06 WHIP, 45/13 K/BB), have spent much of their season hanging out in mediocre-ville. Francisco Cordero (3.50 ERA, 1.47 WHIP, 49/29 K/BB, 21 saves), who signed a 4-year $46 million contract in the offseason, has converted 21 of 27 save chances, while adding more weight to that old fantasy adage, ‘never pay a lot for saves.’

Truth be told, the Pittsburgh Pirates are one of a handful of franchises in baseball that should not exist because they do not turn a profit (and should probably be thankful for the concept of revenue sharing for what money they do make). Due to that fact, what talent they do develop will invariably walk out the door, leaving the Pirates to return to their fruitless Sisyphusian task of being a baseball academy rather than an actual franchise. With that rant aside, the 08’ Pirates, who are currently tied for 5th in the NL in team average (.264), have some players that can swing the sticks. Leadoff man, Nate McLouth (76, 21, 70, .277, 11 SBs), hasn’t let his lack of free passes (only 39 BBs in 404 Abs) get in the way of producing big numbers. Jason Bay (69, 22, 61, .289), one of 06’s more glaring disappointments, has rediscovered his love of yard work and continues to rake at a pace that would eclipse his career marks in R, HR, and RBI. Fellow OF, Xavier Nady (50, 13, 57, .330), has outperformed expectations and continues to be a pleasant surprise in the heart of the Pirate order.

The Pirates’ rotation has been some kind of awful this year. Of the 10 pitchers that have been sent to the bump to start, only 2 have an ERA under 4.00 (Maholm, Taubenheim). The bullpen has been mired under the same mediocre cloud as the starting staff. Franquelis Osoria owns a healthy K/BB ratio (30/11), but also has an ERA of 6.12. Tyler Yates has posted a passable 4.13 ERA, but puts almost as many hitters on as he strikes out (37/34 K/BB). Former closer, Matt Capps (3.12 ERA, 1.07 WHIP, 29/5 K/BB, 17 saves), pitched well before being sidelined with bursitis in his shoulder. Damaso Marte (3.47 ERA, 1.16 WHIP, 47/16 K/BB) has since taken over the role and converted 5 of 7 save opportunities.

The Astros, despite a nearly $90 million payroll, find themselves in a dogfight for the NL Central cellar. Lance Berkman (82, 22, 75, .341, 15 SBs) continues to have one for the books, and ‘El Caballo’ (which is apparently some kind of wild Spanish horse), Carlos Lee (49, 22, 80, .306), continues to assault the fans beyond the outfield walls with baseballs, as well. Shortstop, Miguel Tejada (61, 10, 45, .272), and stud prospect, Hunter Pence (43, 12, 50, .264), have not played to the expectations of the Houston faithful. Centerfielder, Michael Bourn (33 SBs, .285 OBP, .227 Avg.), continues to struggle due to the rule prohibiting batters from stealing first base.

Houston’s starting rotation, which has historically been one of the team’s strong points, has been a lesson in futility this season. Only 2 starters can lay claim to a winning record (Brian Moehler and Chris Sampson), and both pitchers have given up almost as many earned runs as strikeouts (47/42, 41/42, K/ER). Ace and perennial all-star, Roy Oswalt (4.56 ERA, 1.38 WHIP, 94/28 K/BB, 7-8), has struggled with injuries for much of the year, while pitching accordingly. The bullpen has been a mixed bag, with guys like Geoff Geary (2.45 ERA, 1.18 WHIP, 37/20 K/BB) and Oscar Villareal (5.02 ERA, 1.57 WHIP, 21/17 K/BB) issuing far too many free passes to be very effective. The bleakness of night comes not without its stars, however, as set up man, Doug Brocail (3.61 ERA, 1.16 WHIP, 41/13 K/BB), and closer, Jose Valverde (4.75 ERA, 1.39 WHIP, 55/17 K/BB, 26 saves), have pitched well from the back end of the pen.

Alright, get out your pen and pad, it’s prediction time. After much consideration and debate, I will anoint the Chicago Cubs as my NL Central winners. The Brewers’ offense matches up nicely with the Cubs’ (and may even be better), but I think Chicago’s starting pitching is better prepared to endure the dog days of August and September. After Sheets and Sabathia, Milwaukee’s quality of pitching drops off sharply, and while that 2-punch combination might prove lethal in a 5-game playoff series, they’re gonna need to be deeper than that to overtake the Cubs. St. Louis has played over their heads, thus far, and unless they pony up and make a deal before the deadline, I don’t see them remaining competitive beyond mid-August. The Reds are a lopsided team, much in the image of the Rangers, which can hammer the ball, but can’t win because they can’t pitch. The Pirates will likely trade some of their key pieces and begin the annual process of cashing out their chips in order to pay for next season. The Astros have a better offense than the Bucs, and their pitching is not as bad as it’s performed. I expect them to overtake Pittsburgh in the standings; perhaps, even the Reds. On the final day of the baseball season, I expect the sports page to read: Chicago, Milwaukee, Cincinnati, Houston, Pittsburgh.

The National League East is home to 4 of the most competitive teams in baseball, as well as our capitol’s most talented Brownie troop. Economic powerhouses, New York (57-48) and Philadelphia (56-49), are currently atop the pile with only a game separating the two teams. The Florida Marlins are a mere 2 games off the lead despite having the lowest payroll in the majors, by a wide margin ($21.8 mil; next closest is Tampa Bay at $43.8). The best run organization in professional sports, the Atlanta Braves, stand at 7.5 games back. My Washington Nationals, that lovable Triple-A team, owns the league’s worst record and are a lock to take home basement honors in the East.

The Mets did not play up to their billing as a World Series caliber team for much of the first half, however, they have begun to gain momentum leading into the break. Their lineup is as potent and athletic as any in baseball. Leadoff hitter and human indy car, Jose Reyes (77, 12, 49, .302, 34 SBs), continues to exhibit a rare combination of both power and speed. Fellow Hampton Roads product, David Wright (72, 20, 82, .294), embodies an enviable mixture of power hitting and gold glove defense. First baseman, Carlos Delgado (58, 22, 67, .262), played like a man on the wrong side of the hill for the first 3 months of the season; however, his current .379 July average has been a big reason for the Mets’ recent upswing. Carlos Beltran (72, 15, 71, .266, 16 SBs) has posted solid numbers, but, per usual, September will likely turn his carriage back into a pumpkin and him into a stiff, along with it. On another note, Moises Alou, who has been injured for most of the season, publicly admitted that he couldn’t have caught the foul ball that made Steve Bartman so infamous. I’m sure if Bartman ever finds his way out of the federal witness protection program he’ll be sure to thank Mr. Alou for being so prompt with that admission.

The Mets’ starting rotation has been one of their strong points, this season. All-universe hurler, Johan Santana (2.93 ERA, 1.19 WHIP, 125/39:K/BB, 9-7), has pitched every bit like the top shelf starter that New York is overpaying him to be. Mike Pelfrey (3.67 ERA, 1.42 WHIP, 73/44:K/BB, 9-3) has lived up to his promising status, and North Stafford High alum, John Maine (4.20 ERA, 1.34 WHIP, 103/56:K/BB, 9-7), has continued to be a steady arm in the middle of the rotation. Former Red Sox great, Pedro Martinez (6.25 ERA, 1.63 WHIP, 34/18:K/BB, 3-2), continues to make the Mets look silly for giving him a 4 year contract when every other team in the league wouldn’t go above 3. The bullpen has been a mixed bag, with the exception of laser beam specialist, Billy Wagner (2.00 ERA, 0.84 WHIP, 48/9:K/BB, 26 saves). Even at the age of 37, I have no doubt he can hit triple digits on the gun anytime he wants to.

The Phillies entered the 08’ campaign fresh off demoralizing the rival Mets by winning 13 of their final 17 games to bump New York from last season’s NL playoffs. Philly, if you recall, was able to harness that momentum in getting stomped out by upstart Colorado in straight sets. Despite their disappointing finish, the 08’ Phillies remain a popular pick to contend for the division and league titles, again.

Reigning M.V.P., Jimmy Rollins (46, 7, 36, .271, 26 SBs), is as complete a player as there is despite his decreased power numbers (30 hrs in 07’). Early on it appeared Chase Utley (71, 25, 17, .288) was in the midst of a special season and a virtual lock to break the MLB mark for homeruns in a season by a 2-bagger (Roger Hornsby and Davey Johnson tied at 42). By the first week in June, the guy had 2 stretches where he put one out in 6 of 7 games (and 5 in a row). When he finally cooled off, fellow cannoneer, Ryan Howard (67, 30, 94, .237, and an amazing 138 Ks), began to send baseballs into the upper atmosphere at a rate that currently has him competing with Adam Dunn for the NL homerun crown. Pat ‘The Bat’ Burrell (56, 26, 61, .277) has displayed some consistency this season, after years of being banned from my fantasy rosters for being a streaky bas**ard. Shane Victorino (66, 8, 35, .283, 25 SBs), ‘The Flyin Hawaiian’, continues to hold the title of 2nd best nickname in baseball, which ranks only slightly behind Todd ‘Highway To’ Helton.

When the guys that designed your home field decide to build the fences down the lines only 330 feet from home plate, your ERA might be a bit higher than you’d like it to be. Despite that debilitating fact, some of Philadelphia’s pitchers have thrown well. Cole Hamels (3.27, 1.04 WHIP, 135/39: K/BB, 9-6) has become a bonafide ace despite being only 24 years of age. Father Time, himself, Jamie Moyer (3.76 ERA, 1.32 WHIP, 79/37: K/BB, 9-6), is pitching at a much higher level than is traditionally expected of a 45-year old man in the midst of his 22nd major league season. Reliever, Chad Durbin (1.72 ERA, 1.16 WHIP, 49/20: K/BB), was deported to Oakland for his excellence in the trade that brought Joe Blanton (7.88 ERA in 2 starts) to town. Former Minnesota Twin, J.C. Romero (2.32 ERA, 1.34 WHIP, 36/28: K/BB), continues to shut down lefties and give out enough free passes to make the first baseline look like a New York crosswalk. At the back end of the bullpen, closer Brad Lidge (2.25 ERA, 1.18, 58/22: K/BB, 24 saves), seems to have finally healed from the mental scarring Albert Pujols put on him a few years back (one of the worst theories in sports, by the way), as he’s converted every save opportunity that Philly has asked him to.

The Florida Marlins began this year the same way they begin every year; as the favorites to finish in 4th place behind the Mets, Phils, and Braves. Things haven’t quite turned out that way, as The Fish continue to slug their way into contention (most HRs in majors with 150). Central to that effort has been Shortstop (that’s a capital S to match the one he wears on his chest), Hanley Ramirez (84, 24, 47, .300, 25 SBs). 3-bagger, Jorge Cantu (62, 18, 60, .289), moved from Stiffville to Florida during the off-season, and has played well enough to keep Dallas MacPherson (who has 37 HRs including a 7-game streak at Triple-A) in the minors. All-star 2nd baseman, Dan Uggla (65, 25, 63, .266), continues to press Chase Utley for offensive supremacy at the position. Admittedly, I thought his numbers were going down the tubes without Miguel Cabrera to protect him in the lineup; instead, his success serves as yet more evidence why no one should really entertain the idea of listening to me. Josh Willingham (34, 8, 27, .270) was hitting a robust .341 before being sidelined with an ailing back in early May. As you can see, he’s now hitting .270, but with a nickname like ‘The Hammer’, I fail to see why he needs to hit the ball, anyway.

The pitching in South Florida has not faired quite as well as the hitting. California native, Ricky Nolasco (3.94 ERA, 1.23 WHIP, 104/34: K/BB, 10-6), reportedly developed a cut-fastball during the off-season that has been paying big dividends, thus far. Scott Olsen (4.04 ERA, 1.32 WHIP, 72/50: K/BB, 6-5) and Mark Hendrickson (6.09 ERA, 1.52 ERA, 67/42: K/BB, 7-8) have both experienced flashes of brilliance mixed in with their usual repertoire of chucking and ducking. The bullpen has been a mixed bag, as well. Pick a reliever out of a hat (Renyel Pinto (54/35: K/BB), Logan Kensing (37/29), and Matt Lindstrom (30/17)), and it remains a virtual coin flip as to whether they will ring you up or walk you. Closer, Kevin Gregg (2.34 ERA, 1.22 WHIP, 40/28: K/BB, 22 saves), has converted 22 of 28 save chances despite his high walk rate and proneness to fly balls.

I’m convinced that Braves’ helmsman, Bobby Cox (141 career ejections), could take a roster of mannequins into a season and still be a threat to win the division. In hindsight, mannequins might have been the way to go as I’d imagine they are less vulnerable to injury than the Atlanta players have been this year. Atlanta legend and sole member of the 200/100 club (wins/saves), John Smoltz (2.57 ERA, 1.18 WHIP, 36/8: K/BB, 3-2), had his season cut short by shoulder woes. Leftfielder, Matt Diaz, is still rehabbing from a torn knee ligament he suffered in May. Closer, Rafael Soriano, has pitched a mere 12 innings this year due to nagging elbow issues. Veteran hurler, Tom Glavine, had never been placed on the DL during his 21 year career, until this season. Injuries to his hamstring and elbow have limited him to only 12 starts, thus far. Things have gone from bad to worse, lately, as ace Tim Hudson’s (3.17 ERA, 1.16 WHIP, 85/40: K/BB, 11-7) recent elbow injury will likely require him to undergo Tommy John surgery.

The Bravos’ offense has been led by perennial all-star and resident heartthrob, Chipper Jones (58, 18, 55, .369), whose early season batting successes nearly led me to move to Nepal just to escape the rampant media coverage. Receiver, Brian McCann (46, 20, 63, .302), continues to produce in the heart of the order. Streakiness, himself, Mark Teixeira (63, 20, 78, .283), performed well enough to get a bus ticket to Anaheim. Rightfielder, Jeff Francoeur (47, 9, 47, .235), has been some kind of terrible this season, and was even send down to Triple-A for a period of time. Human dynamite, Yunel Escobar (51, 6, 40, .283), has been slowed by some nagging injuries, but remains a force when healthy.

Of Atlanta’s staple exports, rappers and pitching, one has not faired as well as expected (much to my disappointment, it’s not the first one). As I’ve already pointed out, Smoltzy and Hudson are both out with injuries, and there remains a distinct possibility that neither will pitch again. Tom Glavine has also spent significant time on the DL, but I’m not sure if that’s a negative (34/33: K/BB, 1.57 WHIP). Jair Jurrgens (3.06 ERA, 1.28 WHIP, 96/44: K/BB, 10-6), the young man from the Netherlands, has performed admirably in their stead. Converted reliever, Jorge Campillo (2.76 ERA, 1.06 WHIP, 70/21: K/BB, 5-4), has also provided some stability to a disheveled rotation. With Soriano being sidelined with recurring elbow problems, the bullpen has been reshuffled several times. Manny Acosta (4.02 ERA, 1.45 WHIP, 25/24: K/BB) was a crap shoot every time he took the bump, and couldn’t hold onto the closer’s role. Mike Gonzalez (3.00 ERA, 1.00 WHIP, 19/3: K/BB) returned from Tommy John surgery and has claimed the role for the time being. On a positive note, lefty-specialist, Will Ohman (2.80 ERA, 1.11 WHIP, 41/18: K/BB), has been brilliant, thus far.

In the most remote cell in the deepest dungeon of the darkest castle built on the lowest point on earth lies Nationals Stadium. Inside lurks a motley band of brigands, so dear to my heart, yet so difficult to claim in public. Rather than offer statistics and other bits of evidence in support of how bad the Washington Nationals are, I offer a scene from the baseball classic, Bull Durham, which serves to illustrate what I imagine life as a Nat is really like.

[Larry jogs out to the mound to break up a players' conference]
Larry: Excuse me, but what the hell’s going on out here?
Crash Davis: Well, Nuke’s scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man’s here. We need a live… is it a live rooster?
[Jose nods]
Crash Davis: . We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose’s glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present.
[to the players]
Crash Davis: Is that about right?
[the players nod]
Crash Davis: We’re dealing with a lot of shit.
Larry: Okay, well, uh… candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she’s registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let’s get two! Go get ‘em.

As for my predictions, the NL East will go to the Mets. The Phillies can hit with anybody in baseball, but their starting rotation and bullpen are not strong enough for them to keep pace with New York. Florida will fade, too, as their young pitching wears down and starts to amplify the holes that exist in their bullpen. The Braves are already building for next season, and the only story that remain there, Chipper Jones, is currently on the DL and likely won’t be hastened back. The Nationals’ brass are hopefully counting the revenue they’ve pulled in from their new stadium and bickering over how to reinvest it into their languid franchise. If not, there’s a good chance I found a ‘Go Back to Canada’ activist group and start contacting local politicians for support.

Junior Griffey headed to Chicago

Ken Griffey Jr. has accepted a trade that effectively makes him a member of the Chicago White Sox. He joins a crowded outfield situation, with Carlos Quentin and Jermaine Dye already entrenched at the corners and Nick Swisher in center. Further complicating the impending depth chart is incumbent DH, Jim Thome. I’m sure the Sox would have no problem sitting Swisher (.230 avg) or 1b Paul Konerko (.214) based on their swooning production, but Griffey is a career outfielder who has yet to play centerfield this season.

The Reds acquire reliever Nick Masset and minor league 2b Danny Richar. Exactly who those guys are doesn’t mean nearly as much as what the trade itself signifies; which, is that Cincy is running up the white flag and thinking about next season. With the Reds not likely to pick up Griffey’s option for 09’, moving him makes sense.

Junior gives the White Sox a solid left-handed bat, as well as a serviceable 4th outfielder and DH. He’ll likely be used more as a stopgap for struggling starters than as an everyday player. His power numbers shouldn’t be affected by the change of venue, as both Great American Ballpark and U.S. Cellular Field rank in the top-10 hitter’s parks in the league.

Ramirez to L.A., Bay to Boston, bundle of talent to Pittsburgh

The ‘Manny just being Manny’ show has found another circus tent to call home: Dodger-town, U.S.A. After pow-wowing with fellow conspirators, L.A. and Pittsburgh, the Red Sox have agreed to send Ramirez to L.A., and prospects Brandon Moss and Craig Hansen to Pittsburgh. The Dodgers will send prospects Andy LaRoche and Bryan Morris to Pittsburgh, as well. The Pirates, in turn, will send Jason Bay to Boston.

Now, the repercussions: Boston is moving the anchor of their order, in Ramirez, and acquiring the anchor of the Pirates’ order, in Bay. Their stat lines are similar, and although I don’t think Bay ever becomes the hitter Ramirez was in the past, the only con I see has nothing to do with talent, but lack of pressure experience. If anything, the Red Sox gained a player who won’t be a liability in the field, and whose behavior likely won’t raise as many red flags.

The Dodgers are parting with two high level prospects for the chance to get front row tickets to the existential experience that is Manny Ramirez. I do think his power numbers will take a slight hit, as Dodger Stadium is annually one of baseball’s best pitcher’s parks, but he remains a force to be reckoned with at the dish. His addition, however, does create some complications in L.A. It’s a well known fact that there is no DH in the NL, meaning Manny will have to play in the outfield if they expect him to bat. The first problem is obvious; Manny stinks on defense. Fenway’s peculiar dimensions (Green Monster, wall bordering LF foul line) have masked his limited defensive prowess for years, but he won’t be able to hide it in L.A., where there’s just as much foul ground as there is fair. The 2nd problem is that Manny will technically be the 5th outfielder. The other 4 have had to fight one another for playing time, and the addition of another player leads me to believe the Dodgers have finally decided to sit a certain $60.2 million centerfielder.

The Pirates, again, are made to bear the brunt that only economic inequality could provide. Jason Bay was one of their top offensive players, and because he was scheduled to make $7.5 mil next season and likely walk if not traded, the Pirates were forced to ensure they’d receive some type of compensation for him by trading him. This only serves to refuel the process of developing players that they will likely have to trade down the road for the very same reasons. I’m sure the players they received are solid prospects, but that’s beside the point. Unless a reasonable salary cap is implemented, we will see mid-market teams like the Pirates trade their best players to the economic powerhouses every single season.

As we make our way into the Senior Circuit, we come across a group of Double-A teams that have banded together to form a division. They really aren’t that bad, but there isn’t a single team in the NL West that holds a mark above .500. The Diamondbacks and Dodgers are atop this scrap heap, both with marks of 48-50; which, if they played in the NL East they would be 5 games back, and 10 games back in the NL Central. The Rockies’ return to stiffville has been much documented, but they fortuitously find themselves at a very manageable 6 games off the lead. The Giants, who are in full out rebuilding mode, are not out of the chase as they stand at 8 games back. The Padres are pulling up the rear at 11.5 games out, and only the desire not to finish in the basement keeps this team from cancelling the remainder of the season.

Arizona burst out of the gate back in April, but have since come back to earth as their youthful offense has sputtered, a bit. Left-fielder, Eric Byrnes, has been injured for much of the season, and will likely miss the remainder of it with hamstring issues. Chris Young is hitting his usual .230, and the power is still there, but he hasn’t been running with the frequency that made him a 30/30 man, last season. The young guns, Stephen Drew, Justin Upton, Conor Jackson, Mark Reynolds, Emilio Estevez, and Kiefer Sutherland, have all posted respectable numbers. Upton (43, 11, 31, .242) and Reynolds (62, 19, 60, .249) both raked for the first month, but immediately remedied that problem by stinking it up in May, only to regain their ability to hit major league pitching in June. Reynolds, as you can see, has put up solid power numbers, but has also struck out an astounding 115 times, already. Look for him to eclipse 200 Ks, and the Diamondbacks to find a way to harness that wind energy to save money on the electric bill. Conor Jackson (55, 9, 48, .307) has turned into a solid hitter, reminiscent of a young Johnny Olerud.

The name of the game in Arizona is pitching, as they have talked two of the game’s best pitchers into wearing their uniform for the year. Brandon Webb has been as solid as they come for the past 4-5 seasons, and is again performing at a high level with a line that includes a 3.11 ERA, 1.16 WHIP, 116/36 K/BB ratio, and a 13-4 record. Danny Haren, like Webb, throws a filthy sinkerball, and some might argue he’s pitched better than Webb, thus far. He is currently sporting a 2.58 ERA, a 0.98 WHIP of questionable legality, a 199/24 K/BB ratio, but a pedestrian and unlucky 9-5 record. Micah Owings, as with the rest of the team, played over his head for the first month of the season, but now owns an ERA above 5.00. Randy Johnson has been dominant at points this year, but his inability to stay healthy has, and will continue, to prevent any return to his Cy Young form. Doug Davis has made a courageous and inspirational return from thyroid cancer, and I applaud Arizona for conducting itself like a high class organization in holding his roster spot as he recovered. The guy that lost out on that roster spot is Max Scherzer, who is currently in Triple-A. Remember that name because once he learns to harness his 99 mph heater and develops a legitimate 2nd pitch to compliment it, it’s going to be a comedy show every 5th day in Arizona. Brandon Lyon emerged as the closer after the offseason departure of the always volatile, Jose Valverde. He’s converted 20 of 25 save chances, and while his 3.86 ERA and 1.29 WHIP are nothing short of mediocre, his 28/8 K/BB ratio remains solid.

On paper, the big market Dodgers are stacked, and it’s easy to understand why they would be the preseason favorites to win the division. Once again we are reminded why they play the games, because L.A. has not lived up to such a billing. Injuries have absolutely ravaged their roster, as Andruw Jones, Juan Pierre, Rafael Furcal, Nomar Garciaparra, Jeff Kent, Brad Penny, Hiroki Kuroda, and Takashi Saito have all spent time on the DL. Furcal was hitting .366 before injuring his back, and is likely to miss the remainder of the season. Closer, Takashi Saito, will likely befall the same fate as an elbow injury has kept him out of action. Juan Pierre was looking like the player of old, and had already swiped 35 bases, but a sprained knee ligament will keep him out until roughly mid-August. On a positive note, I think the Dodgers fortunes improved a bit with the injuries to Penny and Jones (not that I want to see anyone get hurt). Penny, who is usually an ace quality pitcher, posted horrendous numbers that include a 5.88 ERA, an unspeakable 1.60 WHIP, and a K/BB ratio of 47/36. Jones, who signed a 2 year $36.2 million contract and has apparently pawned his ability to hit a baseball in exchange for his monster 2006 season, has long been under the Mendoza line (.164 Avg). He has recorded 171 official at-bats, but has ended 61 of those with a K, and has a mere 2 home runs and 11 RBI to show for his efforts.

All things considered, the Dodgers have not played poorly. James Loney (47, 8, 51, .296) continues to develop into a premiere hitter, and I would expect him to compete for a batting title or two down the road. Russell Martin (50, 10, 47, .295) is probably the most athletic catcher in the league. When injuries created a gaping hold at 3b, the Dodgers didn’t call a player up from their farm system, they put Martin there. He also ranks 3rd on the team in steals, as he has swiped 10 bags in 14 chances. Young studs, Andre Ethier (50, 11, 43, .280) and Matt Kemp (50, 10, 53, .285), continue to blossom as injuries have given them the chance to play everyday.

The pitching in L.A. has been hampered by injury and sub-par performance. Derek Lowe has been his usual inconsistent self (3.97 ERA, 7-8 record), and future ace, Chad Billingsley (3.32 ERA, 9-9 record, but a whopping 133 Ks), has experienced his own ups and downs. Chan Ho Park has somehow weaseled his way back into a rotation spot, which had led me to write the F.C.C. asking for a parental lock to be placed on all of his performances, as its best to think of the welfare of the kids in matters such as these. Uber-prospect, Clayton Kershaw, was called up and pitched well, initially; however, his lack of control led the Dodgers to pull the plug on that project. With Saito injured, the usually dominant Jonathan Broxton has taken over the closing duties. Broxton was lit up early in the year, but he still features a 49/16 K/BB ratio, and I expect him to excel in the role.

Colorado has experienced a fall from grace this year, but that shouldn’t be a huge surprise to anyone if we keep in mind that underneath the fancy garb Cinderella was still a pauper. The middle infield has been decimated, with starting shortstop, Troy Tulowitzki, and backup infielder, Clint Barmes, both missing significant time with injuries. Despite missing time, Tulowitzki is still the proud owner of a .166 batting average, so I’m not sure how detrimental to the offense his absence could have been. The void created around the 2nd base bag has given rise to a promising young player, however; Jeff Baker (37, 7, 33, .280), who has taken full advantage of his well deserved chance to play on an everyday basis. Rockies mainstay, Todd Helton, has seen his already diminished power efface even further, and has been sidelined recently with an ailing back. On the positive side, last season’s M.V.P. runner-up, Matt Holliday (55, 16, 55, .332), and third baseman, Garrett Atkins (57, 14, 59, .305), continue to take advantage of Colorado’s accommodating air.

The pitching, as is required by Colorado law, has stunk. Jeff Francis (5.67 ERA, 1.55 WHIP, 67/40 K/BB, 3-7 record), last season’s ace, has not looked like the same pitcher that won 17 games in 07’. Franklin Morales (6.39 ERA, 1.78 WHIP, 17/9 K/BB, 1-2 record) and Ubaldo Jimenez (4.20 ERA, 1.51 WHIP, 98/63 K/BB, 5-9 record), two of last season’s pleasant surprises, have not met with the same success. Jimenez has turned things around in recent weeks, and I expect him to have a solid 2nd half; but, Morales is mired in Triple-A and likely won’t factor into the Rockies’ plans in 08’. Last season’s stud closer, Manny Corpas (5.03 ERA, 1.49 WHIP, 32/17 K/BB, 4 saves), chucked and ducked his way out the closer’s gig, only to regain his dominant form over the last 6 weeks. Former closer, Brian Fuentes (3.32 ERA, 1.13 WHIP, 41/11 K/BB, 16 saves), took over the job and has pitched so well that the Rockies can’t stop talking about shipping him out of town.

Life without Barry Bonds has made San Francisco a bit quieter these days, then again, that could the rampant losing, as well. The white flag was hoisted at Pac-Bell during the offseason, effectively making the 08’ season a running open tryout for 09’. The Giants’ offense does not feature a single player with a double digit home run total (J. Bowker and A. Rowand are tied with 9). Big offseason acquisition, Aaron Rowand (42, 9, 51, .289), has played well considering he has no protection in the lineup, nobody on base to drive in, and plays in a much tougher venue to hit for power in. It’s easy to say he hasn’t justified his 5-year $60 million contract, but I don’t think I’m alone when I say I saw it coming (and he probably did, too). Randy Winn (49, 5, 39, .280), also, has met with mediocrity for many of the same reasons. The rest of the offense will likely be charged with the heinous crime of impersonating a ballplayer, and shall remain nameless in an effort to protect the accused and their families.

The pitching has been a different story for the Giants, and I didn’t even blush after typing that. Tim Lincecum (2.79 ERA, 1.27 WHIP, 143/51 K/BB, 11-3 record) chucks the bean. Period. His K/BB ratio is simply dominant, and the fact that he’s put together an 11-3 record with a morgue full of stiffs providing run support for him, is nothing short of amazing. Matt Cain (4.08 ERA, 1.34 WHIP, 126/58 K/BB, 5-8 record) and Jonathan Sanchez (4.10 ERA, 1.38 WHIP, 123/55 K/BB, 8-5 record) have both had their off days, but have helped establish a reputation for power pitching in San Francisco. Barry Zito (5.62 ERA, 1.79 WHIP, 62/60 K/BB, 4-12 record) has been steadily making a case for being one of the worst free agent signings in sports history (7-year, $126 million). This guy won the 02’ AL Cy Young, and his patented 12-6 curveball led to Zito being annually ranked on the Wildlife Channel’s ’10 Deadliest Animals’ segment. How the mighty have fallen. In the bullpen, closer Brian Wilson, has been able to convert 25 of 27 save chances despite an ERA right under 5.00. See, miracles do happen.

Oh, Tony Gwynn, where hath thou gone? The Padres offense, for the most part, is not a thing to be feared by opposing pitchers. I know the fact that they play in an ocean sized ball park doesn’t help much, but only Arizona and the lowly Nationals have a lower team average (.249). Despite that fact, Adrian Gonzalez (57, 22, 74, .279) continues to develop into a premiere slugger. Just imagine if he played in Texas or Philly; he’d have 35 jacks by now. Stud prospect, Chase Headley (10, 6, 14, .269), was finally called up and has provided a spark in the lineup. Khalil Greene (28, 9, 33, .214), despite his horrendous numbers, remains one of the slickest fielding shortstops out, as well as a personal favorite of mine.

The Padre pitching has seen better days, as inconsistency has marred what was thought to be a solid staff. Jake Peavy (2.66 ERA, 1.12 WHIP, 100/27 K/BB, 7-6 record) spent some time on the DL with an elbow strain, and remains one of the top 2 or 3 pitchers in the game. #2, Chris Young (4.50 ERA, 1.48 WHIP, 51/33 K/BB, 4-4 record), has been sidelined with a fractured skull since taking an Albert Pujols missle off the grill. He luckily sustained no serious injury, and he remains on schedule to return in August. The Professor, Greg Maddux (4.21 ERA, 1.27 WHIP, 63/25 K/BB, 3-8 record), continues to defy Father Time and educate us all on the art of pitching every 5th day. Hall of Fame bound, Trevor Hoffman (4.91 ERA, 1.26 WHIP, 35/6 K/BB, 18 saves), has successfully converted 18 or 21 save attempts, and as you can see, also sports a phenomenal 35/6 K/BB ratio.

I might as well draw names out of a hat, or throw darts at a board to pick this division. It might very well come down to which team is able to make a deal before the deadline, but going on each team’s current roster, Arizona is my winner. Their offense is young and inconsistent, but their pitching is top notch, and I would expect that to carry them to the finish line. L.A. has a pretty strong lineup, and a few key guys returning from injury, but I think the injury bug has been much too busy for the Dodgers to outlast Arizona (without a deal, that is). The Rockies are truly not as bad as they’ve played, and with a few guys coming back from injury they should be expected to make a run. Ultimately, the pitching is simply not strong enough, and I don’t see guys like Francis suddenly returning to form. The Giants and Padres don’t have a shot. The Giants have got to be surprised to be as close as they are, and the Padres, despite a potentially strong pitching staff, are simply too far back at this point. I expect to see the final standings look like this: Arizona, L.A., Colorado, San Diego, San Francisco.

This group looks somewhat how they were projected to with Los Angeles in the lead, followed by the recession proof Athletics, and the always pitching-less Rangers, and that $100 million piece of history in Seattle pulling up the caboose.

The Angels have posted a 57-39 record (.600), which has only been good enough to secure a 6 game lead in the division. It is a lead, nevertheless, and has been achieved in the face of early season injuries to Howie Kendrick, Chone Figgins, and John Lackey. The big boppers in the lineup have produced respectable numbers, but I would go as far as to say this team has lacked an offensive superstar, thus far. A more slender, and undoubtedly purer, Garret Anderson has managed to stay healthy; I guess that’s a plus. Judging from his offensive output, Gary Matthews Jr. could rightly be called a ‘mistake’ by the Anaheim brass, if not for the fact that he is an absolute defensive monster. I swear this guy must go into right field with a fishing net and a catapult, because nothing falls in and nobody has the grapes to run on him. They might as well ship Gold Glove awards to this guy in groups of 5 to save everyone the time and effort of voting for him. Torii Hunter has put up numbers in line with those he produced in Minnesota, however, much of his impact can’t be quantified. He is a renowned leader and clubhouse personality, as well as improved protection for Vlad Guerrero in the lineup. Speaking of which, Vlad ‘I’m Bad’ continues to hit balls he shouldn’t to places other men can’t. I’m convinced the only way to pitch around the guy is to have the pitcher turn around on the rubber and chuck it into center field; and even that isn’t a given.

The real studs of Anaheim are the pitchers. 19-game winner, Kelvim Escobar, hasn’t, and won’t, throw a pitch in 2008. That matters not, as Ervin Santana has either returned to his 2006 form or they hired someone else to impersonate him, as he has posted a 3.34 ERA, 122/34 K/BB ratio, and an 11-3 record. Joe Saunders, Jon Garland, Jared Weaver have all posted solid numbers, as well. If we consider John Lackey’s strong return from early season shoulder troubles, L.A.’s staff is only likely to get stronger in the second half. Frankie Rodriguez has already converted 38 saves in 41 chances, thus sparking up talk of challenging Bobby Thigpen’s major league mark of 57 saves set in 1990. He is an elite closer, that much is beyond question, but some of his peripheral numbers suggest he’s not been quite as dominant as one might think (41/26 K/BB ratio; 2.36 ERA; 1.26 WHIP).

With each passing season, the legend of Billy Beane grows. He has become something like the MacGuyver of baseball GMs, because you can give him a match, a piece of string, one lens from a pair of sunglasses, and an old newspaper, and somehow he’ll turn it into a competitive baseball team. On paper, admittedly, this team stinks; but they are currently 7 games over .500 and sit a manageable 6 games back of the Angels for the division lead. The offense in Oakland is cause for offense, and there isn’t much worth noting. Jack Cust has hit 18 dingers on his way to a .229 average and 114 Ks; but, on a positive note, I’m sure the Oakland fans appreciate the breeze. Bobby Crosby’s healthy; rioting has understandably taken place in downtown Oakland. The Big Hurt, perhaps the best player to be included in Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball for SNES, traded in his Blue Jay uniform for the green and gold (well, more like had his Blue Jay uniform taken away).

The pitching has been the engine, as usual, behind the team’s first half success. Dana Eveland, who was acquired from Arizona in the offseason, pitched exceptionally well early on, but has come back to earth, somewhat. The oft-injured, Rich Harden, was shipped to the Cubbies, where he has promptly begun studding it up. Joe Blanton was recently traded to Philadelphia for 3 minor leaguers, and we should expect to see his near-5 ERA rise above 6.00 with the move to that band box. That leaves Justin Duchscherer, who has posted solid numbers (1.82 ERA, 10-5 record), to ace a staff full of stiffs that would likely be just as effective throwing with their offhand.

The Texas Rangers can flat out hit the baseball. Per usual, however, their pitching is something straight out of BYOB night at the local slow pitch softball league. Ian Kinsler is having an MVP caliber season, as he’s posted a line of 84, 14, 58, .337, 23 (R, HR, RBI, AVG, SB). Milton Bradley, who is either the son of a gaming tycoon or criminally uncreative parents, continues to post solid numbers despite nagging leg injuries (55, 19, 57, .316). Rookie sensation, David Murphy, also has provided solid offensive production (52, 13, 60, .276). As far as the pitching goes, I don’t want to mention any names in order to protect the people and families involved, but the lowest ERA of any pitcher who has started at least 1 game for the Rangers is 3.52. The highest is 9.00; you do the math.

The story that touches everyone’s heart, and every journalist’s paper, is Josh Hamilton and his triumphant comeback from substance abuse woes. He currently sports an unreal line of 60, 21, 95, .310, which places him in legitimate contention for the AL Triple Crown. Now, he isn’t going to win it, but he has certainly succeeded in putting the ‘hero’ back in heroin. Alright, alright, that was a cheap shot, but in all seriousness, I am rooting for this guy with every fiber of my being. His, is a story of ability, of waste, of despair, of hope, of epiphany, of perseverance, and finally of overcoming. He is a walking testament to the human will, and all the strength that lay, therein. With that said, I feel I should point out that this guy wasn’t some errant addict that made a wrong turn off the beltway and wound up at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, only to discover soon after that he could rake. He was the first pick, overall, in the 99’ MLB draft, and stands at an intimidating 6’4, 225 lbs. He has long possessed the physical abilities necessary to play a professional sport, and now personal strife and trepidation have furnished him with the self-discipline to go along with it. End of story. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my sincerest attempt to save Mr. Hamilton from the agony of having a Lifetime original movie made about him. You’re welcome, Josh.

The Seattle Mariners are a combined 37-58 (21 games under .500), and they are 20 games off the division lead, and counting. Only the abysmal Washington Nationals have a worse record. Both teams stink, but there is one crucial difference between the two. Washington’s payroll is a meager $43.3 million, which is small potatoes compared to the $114.4 million worth of checks the Mariners plan to write to their players this year. They are in hot pursuit of the right to scrawl their names on an as yet untouched page in the history books for being the first team with a $100 million payroll to lose 100 games. It should come as no surprise that manager, John McLaren, and GM, Bill Bavasi, have both been canned for the team’s expensively poor showing. I feel for McLaren, because a manager is only able to cook with the ingredients that the brass put in the fridge for him. Bavasi, on the other hand, upon taking the helm of the Seattle ship at the end of the 03’ season, promptly began poking holes in the hull. His tenure began with 2 big splashes, one named Richie Sexson, and the other, Adrian Beltre. Sexson had 2 pretty solid years before forgetting how to hit a baseball, entirely; which, resulted in his release just last week. Beltre can flash the leather, but they didn’t sign him to a 5 year, $64 million contract because they had visions of the next Brooks Robinson wearing Mariner teal. His offensive numbers haven’t been horrid, but they haven’t come close to matching the 104, 48, 121, .334 (R, HR, RBI, AVG) line he put up in 04’. The subsequent signings of Jarrod Washburn ($37 mil.), Jeff Weaver ($8.35 mil.), Brad Wilkerson ($3 mil. and cut a month later), and my personal favorite, Carlos Silva ($48 mil; current record of 4-11), have combined to prove that you don’t have to be able to play baseball to get someone to pay you lots of money to do it.

Continuing along, the Erik Bedard trade has not panned out, one bit. In between battling shoulder problems, he has posted a 3.67 ERA, 1.32 WHIP, 72/37 K/BB ratio, on his way to a 6-4 mark. Not exactly the ace-like statistics the Mariners thought they were trading for; however, he is tied for team lead for wins……… Ichiro is a baseball God, and Seattle would probably win more games and draw more fans if they converted the stadium into a cathedral dedicated to him, and held Ichiro bobble-head night, every night. Raul Ibanez continues to be the best #3 hitter who should be a #7 hitter in the league. ‘King’ Felix has undoubtedly been the most hyped pitcher of the decade (and probably any other one), but his brilliance has come in flashes as we have yet to see any sustained dominance from him. J.J. Putz, voted most likely to legally change his name to ‘Stud’, has struggled with elbow problems for nearly the entire first half. The Mariners sorely need him to get healthy, so he can stop watching them lose from the 3rd base dugout, and start watching them lose out in the bullpen. Putz’ arm troubles have given rise to a lone bright spot in the Seattle skyline: Brandon Morrow. When Putz went down, Morrow took over, and up until a week ago he was the owner of a 0.69 ERA. Upon which time, he promptly gave up 3 hits, all homeruns, and 4 runs over his next inning and a third, but that’s beside the point. He still has a 0.88 WHIP and a 42/11 K/BB ratio. The two of them in the pen could turn games into 7 inning contests; however, they are still left with the problem of getting through those first 7 innings with a lead.

For my predictions, I will give the division to the Anaheim Angels, outright. They are the only team with the pitching to win. Oakland, despite their record, have been sellers at the break, and depleted their roster for any type of late season push. Texas will continue to hit well, but their pitching is bad enough that they’d need several Triple Crown candidates in their lineup to make up the difference. Seattle has dug itself a very deep hole, and even if their pitching were to become fully healthy, they still don’t possess the offense necessary to make a sustained run. In the end, I see it looking something like LA, followed by Texas, Seattle, and Oakland.

Well, this division has turned out very differently than the ‘experts’ envisioned it. The Chicago White Sox are atop the fray with a 54-40 mark due to an offensive explosion that took place in May, and hasn’t really stopped. Carlos Quentin, who was acquired from Arizona during the offseason, has been bludgeoning the baseball to the tune of 22 hrs, 70 rbis, and a .277 average. Even Jermaine Dye is the owner of a batting average above .300, and as a fantasy baseball owner who learned the hard way that consistency is not his hallmark, I curse his name often. The twin towers, Thome and Konerko, have only been halfway effective because Konerko can’t stay healthy, and can’t hit for beans when he is. Alexei Ramirez, the ‘Cuban Missle’, has an awesome nickname and can play, to boot. The pitching has been hot and cold for the Sox, and the best of it has come from their 4th and 5th starters, John Danks and Gavin Floyd; which, obviously isn’t a good sign for them. The bullpen has been pretty solid, with Octavio Dotel returning to respectable form and Scott Linebrink posting solid numbers; meanwhile, Jenksy has been near dominant in converting 18 of 21 save chances.

The engine that makes the Southside Circus go, however, is skipper and all around bad ass, Ozzie Guillen. As far as I’m concerned, this guy could probably still strap it on, and his ‘slip up and get one in the ear hole’ approach to the game is something I think is sorely missing from baseball, these days. The man plays by no rules, in fact, I’m not really sure if he realizes there are rules to begin with. I mean, what other manager can throw the entire organization under the bus, including the GM, and somehow turn it into a resounding positive? I’d be willing to bet if the White Sox win the World Series we’ll begin to hearing rumblings of a bill floating around Congress by various Illinois politicians seeking to evict Lincoln from the $5, and replace him with Senor Guillen.

If resiliency had a name, it would be Billy Beane; but, if resiliency had a residency, it would likely be in Minneapolis. The preceding offseason saw two of the Twin Cities’ favorite sons, Johan Santana and Torii Hunter, purchase one way tickets out of town. Despite that fact, the Twins find themselves 11 games over .500 and a mere 1.5 games out of first place. How did the mid-market Twins manage to avoid running up the white flag 5 innings into the first game of the year, you ask? Well, residential studs Justin Morneau and Joe Mauer did not leave town, and terrorize opposing pitching, accordingly. Alexi Casilla and Jason Kubel have performed well and bolstered what was originally thought to be a deflated lineup. Delmon Young apparently threw away his power stroke along with the bat he flung at that umpire (only 3 hrs, but 10 sbs), but I truly don’t expect that trend to become a habit. Carlos Gomez, the prize acquisition from the Santana trade with the Mets, played exceedingly well during the first 2 months of the season, but, as young players are inclined to do, has struggled as of late. I’m personally rooting for him to reach the coveted 40/200 mark (40 SBs, 200 Ks), but I’m skeptical about his chances to swipe 40. The pitching has been mediocre, at best. When Livan Hernandez, the renowned innings-eater, headlines your staff, you better be able to hit. The bullpen has been a mixed bag with a vagrant bum impersonating the former strikeout machine, Pat Neshek, and Joe Nathan’s studliness resulting in the rest of the division agreeing to forgo 9th innings against the Twins, altogether. The Twins’ faithful have cause for hope, however, as electricity himself, Francisco Liriano, has been making substantial strides in his comeback from Tommy John surgery, and will likely be called up to the big league club early in the second half.

The Detroit Tigers, who were unanimously penciled in to win 100 games and already had ‘AL Central Division Champs’ t-shirts in storage, stand at an even .500 and 7 games back of the first place White Sox. This team was reputed to have assembled a lineup potent enough to rival the Murderers Row of lore, but the fireworks have only come in spurts, thus far. Big offseason acquisition, Miguel Cabrera, has not played poorly, but hasn’t met the probably unreasonable expectations placed on him since being traded over from the Marlins. I fully expect him to wind up with a 100, 35, 100, .300 line (R, HR, RBI, AVG.), but I’m sure the crime rate in Detroit will rise when the fans come to the realization that he won’t be competing for the Triple Crown this season. Injuries have also been a factor, as Gary Sheffield, Magglio Ordonez, and Jeremy Bonderman have spent substantial time on the DL. The real culprit, however, has been the sub-par pitching turned in by the starters and bullpen, alike. Justin Verlander, the slender fireballer hailing from my own alma mater, Old Dominion University, has not been quite the same pitcher this season. Dontrelle Willis has been so bad that the only way management could protect him from the hail of beer cans being launched at him in between innings was to send him down to the minors. Kenny Rogers, The Gambler, sports an atrocious 44/45 K/BB ratio, and the Tigers would probably be better off running the original Gambler (who will turn 70 on August 21st) out there rather than camera smooshing Kenny. Fireballer, Zoel Zumaya has finally returned, and management has added a ‘protection policy’ to his contract that requires the pitcher to completely cover himself in bubble wrap before he leaves the clubhouse each night to prevent him from getting hurt off the field, again. Fellow flamethrower, Fernando Rodney, also returned from injury, and has been rumored to be on the trading block. That should tell you how well he’s done this year. Todd Jones owns an ERA close to 5.00 and a 13/14 K/BB ratio, yet has somehow managed to convert 18 of 20 save chances. I suppose it doesn’t matter how hard or far they hit it, as long as it’s at someone, right?

The Kansas City Royals, that major league level farm club for the rest of the league, has played admirably considering the usual lack of substance to work with. Jose Guillen has performed well despite having to play through a few nagging injuries. David DeJesus is a burgeoning star, which means he’ll be packing his bags and relocating as soon as his agent is able to arrange it. Joey Gathright, who has compiled a mere 15 BBs over a span of 235 ABs, continues to wear out the grass between the dish and the dugout as he challenges Alfonso Soriano for the coveted ‘Wasted Speed’ trophy. The Royals pitching staff is better than their numbers indicate. Zack Greinke has long been considered a promising arm, and currently sports a 104/36 K/BB ratio. Gil Meche and Brian Bannister are cerebral hurlers in the grand tradition of The Professor, Greg Maddux, but, in truth are 3rd or 4th starters putting on their best 2-starter imitation. On a positive note, closer Joakim Soria has been ruthless on the bump, as he’s converted 25 of 27 chances and features a 46/9 K/BB ratio. See DeJesus, David for how that’s likely to turn out.

The rains in Cleveland come a little more often and stay a little longer, these days. The Indians’ record stands at 41-53 and a distant 13 games off the division lead. The white flag has already been run up the pole, as staff ace and reigning Cy Young Award winner, C.C. Sabathia, has since been shipped off to Milwaukee for a package of youths. As I type this I can’t help but recall a scene from Major League II, where the Asian groundskeepers exclaimed, “We suck again!.” Yes, you certainly do. Injuries have been the rule, not the exception, for the Indians this season. Stud receiver and 3-hole slugger, Vic “The Stick” Martinez, could hit nary a home run before being placed on the DL in mid-June with a right elbow injury. Number 2 gunner, Fausto Carmona, has been out since late May with a hip strain. Travis Hafner has been out of action since late May with a shoulder strain, but when healthy, he experienced a continuation of the slump that eclipsed much of his 2007 campaign. Let us not overlook the awful play that is fast becoming a Cleveland mainstay, and the players that call themselves pitchers are most at fault, here. Paul Byrd is horrendous, and shouldn’t be allowed to throw peanuts to children in the stands, let alone pitch a baseball from the mound. The Indian bullpen has to have a combined ERA somewhere around 7.00, but, then again, anybody who consciously chooses Joe Borowski to pitch the ninth either has little sense to being with, or no other options.

The fall from grace hasn’t been without its bright spots, however, Cliff Lee has been one of the best pitchers in the game, posting 2.31 ERA, 1.03 WHIP, 106/20 K/BB ratio, on his way to a 12-2 record and starting honors for the American League All-Star team. Grady Sizemore, likewise, has continued to turn his talent into big time stats, as he is on pace to become only the 5th player in history to put up a 40/40 season. Jhonny Peralta, Casey Blake, and Ben Francisco have all played well enough to be disappointed at the dismal fortunes of their once successful franchise.

As for my predictions, I think the Twins will fade as the dog days of August wear on and their pitching deficiencies become amplified. The Tigers have played very well the last 5 weeks, and I expect them to make a serious run at the White Sox, but I don’t see them overcoming their pitching woes. Chicago has a deep bench, solid bullpen, and an experienced starting rotation, which will ultimately result in them laying claim to the title ‘division champs’. For the record, I expect the Royals to finish in the basement, and the Indians ton give the Twins a run for 3rd place in the standings. Now call up your bookie and bet the house on the exact opposite that you’ve just read.

It is that time of year, again, when the Yankees, Red Sox, Angels, Mets, Dodgers, Cubs, and exactly 1 player from the other 26 teams combine to fill out the American and National League rosters in order to play the always over-hyped and rarely satisfying, Mid-Summer’s Classic.  While many fans will undoubtedly spend their time enjoying the festivities, I, on the other hand, will take this short reprieve to kick those that are down, be skeptical of those that are not, and extend predictions for the second half of the year that will wind up being even worse than those I made at the start of it.  What follows is my random, oh so random, review and analysis of the first half of the 2008 Major League Baseball season.

The American League East enters the midway point with Boston leading the pack by half a game.  Aside from the obvious (strong pitching and a stacked lineup), the Sox have had some windfalls that probably make Yankee fans vomit.  David Ortiz goes down, J.D. Drew steps up; Matsuzaka goes down, Justin Masterson steps up; Kevin Youkilis is having a career year, and Jacoby Ellsbury and Dustin Pedroia are proving to be just as talented as the Sox’ brass anticipated.   They’ve even gotten mileage out of the once dominant but irreparably worn down, Bartolo Colon.  Once fully healthy, I can only imagine this team getting stronger and running away with the division, and there are few thoughts that produce the urge to leap from a bridge in me more than that one.  Manny Ramirez became the 24th player to reach 500 homeruns; once again proving that it doesn’t take class to hit a baseball.  David Ortiz lived in a world of mediocrity before being sidelined with a wrist injury in late May; yet, managed to make the all-star team.  More proof that the fans should never be given the power to substantially influence the games they watch.

Tampa Bay enters the second half 14 games over .500 and a meager half game behind the champion Red Sox.  They actually led the division for a time, until their current 7 game skid landed them in 2nd place.  They’ve gotten great starting pitching from a staff whose members don’t exceed 26 years of age.  Evan Longoria, who is fulfilling his stud pedigree ahead of schedule, leads a young and highly athletic roster.  With that said, this team will continue their slide down the standings of the American League East.  They fall into the ‘buyers’ category as we approach the deadline, so a trade is possible, but I would bet the house that the inexperience and fatigue will become glaring come mid-August.

The Yankees squeezed out another sub-par first half, and suicide rates have risen in New York, accordingly.  In their defense, they have had some injuries to contend with.  A-Rod and Posada spent time on the DL, and Matsui is still on it.  On a positive note, Mariano Rivera continues to prove that he’s the best closer in the game (and maybe ever), and Robinson Cano equally continues to prove that his 2006 season (.342 avg) was a fluke.  Jason Giambi’s man-stache, however, is probably the greatest thing to happen in New York since the Empire State Building was constructed.  Stache-mania has swept through the House That Ruth Built, and resulted in the resurgence of not only the Giambino’s career, but of the legitimacy of mustachioed men, everywhere.

Toronto stinks.  The only player on their roster that is hitting .300 is a backup outfielder named, Joe Inglett (.301).  Three-fifths of the starting rotation sports an ERA above 4.00.  Aside from Roy Halladay, whom I’m convinced could throw a complete game every time out, the Blue Jays have been a bust.  The unreal return of closer B.J. Ryan (18 saves in 20 chances) is the only sports news not concerning the Maples Leafs or Raptors that should find its way out of Toronto, these days.  My advice: padlock the field, cancel the season, and get a head start on rebuilding for next year.

The Orioles, after launching out of the gate via their talented youth and cortisone propelled stiffs, have returned to their rightful seats located at the bottom of the division (though Toronto will undoubtedly contend for that honor).  Several pleasant surprises contributed to their early surge, a major one being the power hitting of players the likes of Aubrey Huff (18 hrs) and the newly acquired Luke Scott (14 hrs).  George Sherrill, despite a 4.08 ERA, has converted 28 of 34 save opportunities, and proven that the size of your hat really does matter, along the way.  Jeremy Guthrie could be a stud, Nick Markakis is a stud (meaning they’ll both be leaving town soon), and Daniel Cabrera could legitimately walk 200 batters in a given season.  In the preseason, I predicted the Orioles to be the cellar-dwellers of the AL East, and I am overjoyed (as my predictions are usually wrong, and I am not a fan of owner, Peter Angelos) to announce that I was right.