Kevin Durant To Go Pro; Sun To Rise In Morning
He wins six awards deeming him National Player of the Year. The latest from Texas is that — shocking as it may seem! — Longhorns stud hoops star Durant is going pro, according to The Dallas Morning News. He’s got no choice. The ceiling has been set for him as a college player. If he goes back, yes, they contend for another title but he’d be wasting away his professional shining moments. And, don’t know if you know it by now, but the kid’s going to be nasty in the pros.

Don Imus Gets 2-Week Suspension From MSNBC, CBS
If you’ve ever heard Don Imus on the radio, you can tell that he is one-half intelligent, well-rounded and well-informed, and the other half makes you think of the stereotypical old white grandpa who can’t be taken out in public because they believe things should “be how they used to be.” It took a Jesse Jackson protest and a Reverend Al Sharpton face-to-face lashing for MSNBC to finally drop the hammer. Shame on them for letting others beat them to the punch. Even Al Roker (I can’t believe he’s got a freakin blog too! Hurry and save the RSS feed! … yep …) is campaigning for the man’s ousting. While every idiot with a mike shouldn’t be fired for every outlandish insensitive line they use (thank you 1st amendment), a swift punishment should be automatic, no question. On a side note, not many people are saying this but Imus deserves some credit for withstanding the eye of the backlash storm, going on Sharpton’s radio station for a face-to-face LIVE, on-air. Now that takes onions. Kudos. Not get your MIND RITE!

Kevin Millar Cuts A Little Opening Day Rug
Opening Day in Baltimore inspired ex-BoSoxer Kevin Millar to do his best Ray Lewis get hyped dance. Apparently it worked! Millar homered to go along with a 6-2 win over those defending champ Detroit Tigers. I was going to say mocking the Lewis dance was getting old but when someone like Millar decides to act a fool in public like that, how can we not enjoy its hilarity?

Lidge Scared of 450ft Shots, Loses Closer Role
One-time dominating closer Brad Lidge is out, and Dan Wheeler is in. Assuming a new role for Lidge means a gentle coddling by Houston Astros skipper Phil Garner, who plans on working back in the confidence of his former dominant closer. We’ve got a feeling that when the ink blotch test is applied to Lidge, the name “Albert Pujols” is heard quite a bit, along with an unhealthy mix of sorrowful tears and a few “I want my mommy” outcries. Tough times in Houston.

Denver Nuggets Beat Lake-Show
Take a look at Kobe’s final shot of the game. Down by two, he shoots an awkward, deep 3-pointer off one foot, which clanks off the rim with 3 ticks remaining AFTER the ball hits the rim. Forcing it a bit much? Ok, ok… we’ve seen the squad play, so if we were as good as Kobe we might’ve taken an even crazier shot. AND… don’t know if you already know it or not but Carmelo Anthony is hoopin his La La lovin tail off! He put up 33 pts, 5 dimes and 5 boards in the win over the LA Kobes, while other contributers included A.I. (24 pts, 5 dimes), Marcus Camby (22 boards) and bench players Eduardo Najera (14 pts, 8 boards, 3 steals) and Linas Kleiza (17 pts) did their thing-thing as well. Look out for this team to give someone a nice little run in the first round… Phoenix, maybe?

Bonds Not Affected By Hammerin Hanks Decision To Be MIA At Record-Breaking
In a subdued, cool tone, Barry Bonds said of Henry Aaron’s decision to miss the record-breaking moment when it happens, “He has every right to do what he wants to do. I respect that… There’s no reason for me to be disappointed. He’s his own man, he can do what he wants to do.” Speculation surrounding Bonds’ breaking the record is at an all-time high and will be maxed out once he is sitting one homer away. Aaron still has a ch The hate is there and promises are made, but the “BONDS WATCH” when he’s sitting 1 away will be absolutely incredible. It’s been a long time since everyone hated one person this much. Which reminds us…

A-Rod Temporarily Holds Off Boo Birds
He can hit as many homeruns as he wants now (oh, and he’s been hitting plenty) but the first clutch situation he blows, Yankee fans will be back to their usual antics of booing the richest, most sensitive man in baseball. And you’d think they’d be more sensitive considering he has no more sleepovers at Jeter’s house in which he’d be able to stay up all night eating ice cream and vent. The nerve of some fans.

Cleveland Will Never Play Baseball At Home Again!
Snow has postponed four straight days of games for the Tribe, so for the next home series scheduled with the Angels, the games were moved to Milwaukee (where they have a dome). The games on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday will offer $10 tickets. Not to sound like a homer, but maybe Cleveland should trade its team to Washington so we can get some competitive ball going this year… or next… and mind you, RFK withstands each and every snowstorm mother nature sends our way!

BONUS COVERAGE:

• Tim Montgomery pleads guilty in multi-million dollar fraud scheme, plans on outrunning jail sentence.
• Mike Shanahan Signs A 3-Year Extension, plans on signing Montgomery in 7th round of draft as starting RB
• Joey Harrington Signs 2-Year Deal With Falcons, plans on personally keeping Mike Vick relaxed and healthy so he will never have to play.
• Not-MVP Debates Coming To A Close: Not Dirk or Not Nash?