Boston is going nuts right now. Think: West Virginia couches on fire, but not in a celebratory case. Bill Simmons is contemplating his life, considering how much he tried to sway hoops karma to have the ping pong balls favor his beloved Celtics.

In the end, the Portland Trail Blazers won the ping pong Super Bowl.

With the number one pick, the Blazers can add Greg Oden to an already potent — albeit young— order and compete for as long as they youngins allow it. This would also mean the squad doesn’t pull a Houston Texans/Charlie Casserly (place your blame where you may) and fumble their opportunity.

To be in the top-5 is already solid. The Celts can pick the 7-footer from China or Brandon Wright from UNC. Or if they are lucky, Al Horford will slip.

The draft is stacked. So as long as teams aren’t pulling a Washington Redskins and trading away all of their picks, everybody wins.

The main focus of the lottery is the Atlanta Hawks, who retained their best first round pick by remaining in the top-3. Had the ping pong ball dropped outside of the top-3, the Suns would have earned the pick via the Joe Johnson trade. So now the Hawks get the third pick, along with the 10 pick. If they don’t finally draft a point guard, the NBA should evict them.

Why Did The Jazz Even Show Up?
The San Antonio Spurs ran the table last night. At any given moment when the game fell close, the Spurs put a hypothetical “knee in the groin” to the Utah Jazz. Do the Spurs sweep or do the Jazz fans shift the series by a single game and help their team avoid the sweep with a single win?

Giambi Falls Outside Of the Baseball Circle Of Trust
The latest report is that Yankees slugger Jason Giambi failed an amphetamines test. Didn’t he know he was waking a sleeping giant in calling out the MLB when he stuck his foot in his mouth? It’s all downhill from here, guy.

Hibbert Reportedly To Return To Georgetown
Maybe the Hoyas will finally feed the ball down low when the game is on the line. Maybe Thompson Jr. will finally appreciate the giant they (reportedly) posess yet again. If Green stays too (doubt he will), maybe the Hoyas can add a course of “Not Disappearing In Big Games” for the sake of… curious students.

UPDATE: Hibbert Stays, Green Heads Pro