Archive for July, 2007
11.07.07

Morning Munchies: Etan Thomas Interview, Pujols A Pissed All Star and Steve Francis Gets Paid… To Leave

- Baseball, Basketball -

09.07.07

Poke Her? I Don’t Even Know Her!

- Poker -

“Poke her? I don’t even know her!”
– The oldest, cheesiest poker joke (or knee-slapper) I know

If you are not a fan or addict of poker at this point, where have you been?

The earth has yet to produce a rock big enough to hide under and not be touched by the wave of professional poker working its way around the globe even as we speak.

Maybe you already went through the love/hate relationship with poker (when the main game to play was five-card stud) and you found yourself in a life-altering hole after losing barrels of money to friends (now ex-friends, of course) and the “house” in Vegas or Atlantic City.

Maybe you failed to catch one of thousands of WSOP tourneys shown on ESPN in a continuous loop for the last… 5 years or so. (The rest of us simply gave in and picked up our own deck.) In this case also, I would guess you also do not own an iPod, iPhone or cell phone with a camera.

Moving on, for those in the know, the 2007 WSOP is underway. To start things off, Phil Helmuth — one of the most arrogant, loud, condescending, amazing poker players the world has known, who as an ego that could fill at least three full Tennessee football stadiums — started a new pre-tourney ritual by crashing a race car (link straight to video), just before he was slated to hop in on the big dance. Love the headline and report from http://wickedchopspoker.blogs.com/ — “Helmuth Suffers From Severe Whiplash, Ego Miraculously Unscathed”.

I started with my own poker lovin’ about 5 summers ago when passing time on a trip to SoBe (South Beach Miami) as rain poured relentlessly from above as I rejuvenated from the previous night’s fun. ESPN played the “Moneymaker” tourney (I forget what year… 2001 is my guess) non-stop, as I was (1) too lazy to change the channel and (2) didn’t really want to change the channel the more I heard hilarious smart-ass comments coming from the poker commentator, Norman Chad.

Chad held true to his entertaiment value (also check out his articles, he writes about all things sports in a nationally syndicated column seen in The Washington Post, among other newspapers) and the Moneymaker dream makes rooting for the underdog closer to reality than the Helmuths of the world will admit.

Around the district, bars and restaurants offer free tourneys and I’ve never been happier checking them out as people play them as if there really is a $15 million pot on the line. Or that they paid $10,000 to enter. Not so much. Max winnings at one little pizza parlor joint I play at: $25 gift certificate for their food or drinks.

If you want to get inspired and whatnot, you missed the train on the online poker money practice chance (unless you’re outside the U.S. of A.). But you can tune into WSOP on ESPN starting Tuesday and see if it’s your thing or not. Find the TV listing here.

Top celebrity playing this year that I will whole-heartedly root for: Montel Williams. According to Andrew Feldman’s blog, he’s faring quite well to start off, while other bigger, more famous poker names have been shown the door early.

Anyone out there want to loan me $10,000?

UPDATE: Forgot to throw in this Gregg Doyel article that speaks to the woes of gambling. Can’t say that I disagree with the fact that gambling is scary to some… but seriously, though, people need to break their own addictions. We can’t outlaw everything. This coming from someone who isn’t addicted to much other than sports, food and good times.

09.07.07

Morning Munchies: Granderson’s Catch, BALCO’s Back and Golfin’ With A Tiger

- Baseball, Golf, Soccer, Tennis -

06.07.07

Choked Out For The Cause

- UFC -

When journalists step beyond the line of duty to find out more about their subject, they deserve to be recognized. This video is of reporter Larry Connors getting tasered in a role-playing incident and there are plenty others who’ve tried the same for the sake of a report.

Lately Gregg Doyel of CBS Sportsline has been following UFC. One day he decided to act on his curiousity of what it feels like to be choked to unconsciousness. He makes a trip to Ohio, meets up with UFC-er Jorge Gurgel and the rest is, well, history as told by Doyel himself. I’ve yet to find video coverage but his recap is told wonderfully.

Being a man disliked from many sides of the sports spectrum, one has to applaud him for acting a fool, sticking his neck (literally) on the line for the sake of embedding himself in an up-and-coming sport everyone’s sure to appreciate.

Seriously, though, I hope the video is uploaded and available for the YouTube lovers of the world. It could go down as a classic.

03.07.07

More Than an Athlete

- Basketball, Societal Issues, Washington Wizards -


The fourth of July is the day our nation celebrates independence. With everything going on in our country the day should be about more than barbecues, fireworks, and beer. Sports is a way our country escapes everything that is wrong in the world. It give me great pleasure that even though we might be at war, I am able to escape and watch a basketball game. I will probably scream and curse at the television swearing I can defend better than Jamison, jumping up and down as if the fate of the world depended on it, but after all, it is just a game.

On September 24, 2005 Washington Wizard power forward Etan Thomas gave a speech at an anti-war demonstration in Washington, D.C. The transcript of the speech is below. As we celebrate the birth of our country and how it has come, let us still remember we have a long way to go;

“Giving all honor, thanks and praises to God for courage and wisdom, this is a very important rally. I’d like to thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts, feelings and concerns regarding a tremendous problem that we are currently facing. This problem is universal, transcending race, economic background, religion, and culture, and this problem is none other than the current administration which has set up shop in the White House.

In fact, I’d like to take some of these cats on a field trip. I want to get big yellow buses with no air conditioner and no seatbelts and round up Bill O’Reilly, Pat Buchanan, Trent Lott, Sean Hannity, Dick Cheney, Jeb Bush, Bush Jr. and Bush Sr., John Ashcroft, Giuliani, Ed Gillespie, Katherine Harris, that little bow-tied Tucker Carlson and any other right-wing conservative Republicans I can think of, and take them all on a trip to the ‘hood. Not to do no 30-minute documentary. I mean, I want to drop them off and leave them there, let them become one with the other side of the tracks, get them four mouths to feed and no welfare, have scare tactics run through them like a laxative, criticizing them for needing assistance.

I’d show them working families that make too much to receive welfare but not enough to make ends meet. I’d employ them with jobs with little security, let them know how it feels to be an employee at will, able to be fired at the drop of a hat. I’d take away their opportunities, then try their children as adults, sending their 13-year-old babies to life in prison. I’d sell them dreams of hopelessness while spoon-feeding their young with a daily dose of inferior education. I’d tell them no child shall be left behind, then take more money out of their schools, tell them to show and prove themselves on standardized exams testing their knowledge on things that they haven’t been taught, and then I’d call them inferior.

I’d soak into their interior notions of endless possibilities. I’d paint pictures of assisted productivity if they only agreed to be all they can be, dress them up with fatigues and boots with promises of pots of gold at the end of rainbows, free education to waste terrain on those who finish their bid. Then I’d close the lid on that barrel of fool’s gold by starting a war, sending their children into the midst of a hostile situation, and while they’re worried about their babies being murdered and slain in foreign lands, I’d grace them with the pain of being sick and unable to get medicine.

Give them health benefits that barely cover the common cold. John Q. would become their reality as HMOs introduce them to the world of inferior care, filling their lungs with inadequate air, penny pinching at the expense of patients, doctors practicing medicine in an intricate web of rationing and regulations. Patients wander the maze of managed bureaucracy, costs rise and quality quickly deteriorates, but they say that managed care is cheaper. They’ll say that free choice in medicine will defeat the overall productivity, and as co-payments are steadily rising, I’ll make their grandparents have to choose between buying their medicine and paying their rent.

Then I’d feed them hypocritical lines of being pro-life as the only Christian way to be. Then very contradictingly, I’d fight for the spread of the death penalty, as if thou shall not kill applies to babies but not to criminals.

Then I’d introduce them to those sworn to protect and serve, creating a curb in their trust in the law. I’d show them the nightsticks and plungers, the pepper spray and stun guns, the mace and magnums that they’d soon become acquainted with, the shakedowns and illegal search and seizures, the planted evidence, being stopped for no reason. Harassment ain’t even the half of it. Forty-one shots to two raised hands, cell phones and wallets that are confused with illegal contrabands. I’d introduce them to pigs who love making their guns click like wine glasses. Everlasting targets surrounded by bullets, making them a walking bull’s eye, a living piñata, held at the mercy of police brutality, and then we’ll see if they finally weren’t aware of the truth, if their eyes weren’t finally open like a box of Pandora.

I’d show them how the other side of the tracks carries the weight of the world on our shoulders and how society seems to be holding us down with the force of a boulder. The bird of democracy flew the coop back in Florida. See, for some, and justice comes in packs like wolves in sheep’s clothing. T.K.O.’d by the right hooks of life, many are left staggering under the weight of the day, leaning against the ropes of hope. When your dreams have fallen on barren ground, it becomes difficult to keep pushing yourself forward like a train, administering pain like a doctor with a needle, their sequels continue more lethal than injections.

They keep telling us all is equal. I’d tell them that instead of giving tax breaks to the rich, financing corporate mergers and leading us into unnecessary wars and under-table dealings with Enron and Halliburton, maybe they can work on making society more peaceful. Instead, they take more and more money out of inner city schools, give up on the idea of rehabilitation and build more prisons for poor people. With unemployment continuing to rise like a deficit, it’s no wonder why so many think that crime pays.

Maybe this trip will make them see the error of their ways. Or maybe next time, we’ll just all get out and vote. And as far as their stay in the White House, tell them that numbered are their days.â€?

03.07.07

Hoops for Thought: NBA Draft, the dust settles… Part III

- Basketball, Hoops For Thought -

The Miami Heat

After failing to defend their NBA title the Miami Heat are hoping to return to glory in the 2007-2008 season. Team President and Coach Pat Riley has built a veteran ball club with a win now attitude. Three of the team’s starters are over the age of 31 and Dwayne Wade is only player in rotation under the age of 27. Veteran ball clubs tend to have success, the NBA Champion San Antonio Spurs were the oldest team in the league. The problem is how the Miami Heat drafted this year. The Spurs draft for need and add veteran Europeans to their roster. Pat Riley has never been a big component of Europeans on his rosters, but you still have to help your team in the draft.

The Miami Heat are desperate for point guard help. Gary “the mitten� Payton and Jason “white chocolate� Williams are both way past their primes and have outgrown their nicknames. With the defensive rule changes and the wave of young, fast, and athletic points entering the league, these two dinosaurs are liabilities anytime they lace up their Nikes. With that being said, why didn’t the Miami Heat draft Gabe Pruitt from USC? He is a 6’4� athletic point guard that would have been able to contribute right away. Instead they draft Daequan Cook?

In 2004 the Miami Heat were in need of a point guard. Dwayne Wade had his coming out party during the playoffs and starting point guard Rafer Alston was a free agent and looking for big money. The Heat wanted Wade playing point guard as little as possible, so he could have more opportunities to create. Is this sounding familiar? On draft night the College Player of the Year, Jameer Nelson, was still on the board when it was Miami’s turn to pick. What did they do? With the 19th pick of the 2004 draft, the Miami Heat draft Dorell Wright. Wright is a 6’8� athletic scorer who was not ready for the NBA and to this day is unable to crack the Heats rotation. Daequan Cook is a 6’6� athletic scorer who is not ready for the NBA and will be sent straight to the D-League, does not pass go, do not collect $200. Why did the Miami Heat make the same mistake they made in 2004?

The Houston Rockets

If you already have a starting point guard in Rafer Alston, why would you draft another point guard? The Rockets must need of a back up point guard. But they just traded for Mike James… They are in need of a third point guard then, wait a minute, don’t they have Luther Head?

This was a wasted pick, the Houston Rockets already have three point guards. With Aaron Afflalo, Glen Davis, and Marcus Williams still on the board, why wouldn’t you draft a need position? Aaron Brooks wasn’t even the best point guard left on the board.

The New Jersey Nets

The Nets selected Sean Williams from Boston College in the 2007 NBA Draft. The team now has the oldest pothead in the NBA and the newest pothead in the NBA. Cheech and Chong’s Up In Smoke meets Method Man and Redman’s How High.

With the Nets resigning Vince Carter the team is guaranteed to sell tickets and make the playoffs for the next two or three years. The Nets are also guaranteed never to make it out of the first round of the Easter Conference Playoffs for the next two or three years because Vince Carter has no heart. He will have even less now that he is paid.

The Detroit Pistons

The Detroit Pistons had a great draft. They picked up two big guards that will be able to compete right away. The biggest knock against the Pistons is that they have no depth. Detroit always plays well during the season, but runs out of gas come playoff time. Rodney Stuckey and Aaron Afflalo are capable of coming off the bench and giving the Detroit guards some much needed rest. Afflalo was projected to be a second round pick in the draft despite leading his team to consecutive Final Four appearances. He has a nice mid-range game and should fit in nicely as Richard Hamilton’s back up.

The Los Angeles Clippers

I like Al Thorton, but now they HAVE to trade Corey Maggette. Imagine Maggette playing for a team he actually wants to play for. When he is on the court it is obvious he does not want to be there. Maybe the Wizards could offer Jamison for Maggette and Tim Thomas. Clippers would get cap relief in a year and rid themselves of the terrible contract of Tim Thomas. The Wizards would get a niece piece in Corey Maggette and when Tim Thomas doesn’t play hard Etan Thomas can just beat him up.

The Phoenix Suns

Why do they keep giving their first round picks away? This does not make any sense. If Kerr wants to save his buddy owner Robert Saver some money, why don’t they draft foreigners like Tiago Splitter and just leave him overseas?

The Atlanta Hawks

Hell must have frozen over. In the NFL draft, the Detroit Lions drafted yet another receiver with a top pick, but this time it was the right move. The Washington Redskins did not trade any of their future NFL draft picks in this year’s draft, and the Atlanta Hawks did not draft a small forward in the NBA draft!

The Atlanta Hawks had a great draft adding Al Horford and Acie Law IV. The team finally added some much need post scoring and a point guard leadership. With a starting lineup of Acie Law IV, Joe Johnson, Marvin Williams, Josh Smith, and Al Horford, this team should be able to run with anyone. This is now an exciting young team that actually has a future.

Acie Law IV told the Atlanta Journal he is exciting about being in Atlanta so he can be reunited with his long lost twin Atlanta comedian Shawty Shawty. So don’t be surprised when you see Law IV through an alley-oop to Marvin Gaye Williams then turn the crowd and yell, “What my name iz?�

02.07.07

Hoops for Thought: NBA Draft, the dust settles… Part II

- Basketball, Hoops For Thought -

Boston Celtics

Contrary to popular belief the Boston Celtics took a step forward on draft night. The Celtics took center stage at the 2007 NBA Draft when they traded the rights to Jeff Green, the number five pick in the draft, Delonte West, and Wally Szczerbiak to the Seattle Supersonics for veteran shooting guard Ray Allen and the rights to second round pick Glen “Big Baby� Davis. Fans and analysts complain Boston Celtics General Manager Danny Ainge mortgaged the future of the Boston Celtics on Ray Allen who is passed his prime at the age of 32. In all honesty Ainge gave the Celtics a chance to compete for the next three seasons in the East, while making the Celtics relevant again.

No matter what the Celtics did on draft day it would not be enough to please Boston and ESPN’s Sports Guy. The Boston Celtics spent the entire season tanking games in an attempt to secure the first or second pick in the draft. If this was the NFL it would have been a good plan because they are without draft lottery, but in the NBA it is all about chance. Despite having the second worst record in the league the Celtics wound up with the fifth pick in the draft. The outcry from Boston was heard worldwide as sports fans watched an interview of Ainge and Boston Coach Doc Rivers sitting in utter depression on May 22, 2007. Because the Celtics did not land a top two pick in the draft, Boston fans view the upcoming draft as failure, no matter who they draft. Ainge had to try and pull of something big, even though he knew anything short of Kevin Garnett would not be enough.

During the 2006-2007 season the Boston Celtics were one of the youngest teams in the league. The team’s veteran leader Paul Pierce despite signing a max extension a year earlier began to voice his opinion publicly asking for veteran help. With the fifth pick in the draft there was not a player on the board that would give Paul Pierce immediate help or guaranteed a playoff spot. To draft a player of that caliber is to admit you are rebuilding and waiting for Paul Pierce to request a trade, not ready to take that step, Ainge decided to trade the pick.

With the addition of Ray Allen the Boston Celtics become a playoff team. Although Ray Allen will be 32 by the time the season starts, he can still play. Last season Allen averaged 26 points a game in the West and shot 37% from the three point line. Pair those numbers with Paul Pierce’s 25 points a game and 39% from behind arc numbers from last year and I dare any team to double team Celtics big man Al Jefferson. Ray Allen might be getting older, but it doesn’t take much energy to stand around and shoot wide open threes when teams are scrambling to get the ball out of Paul Pierce’s hands and doubling Al Jefferson. The Boston Celtics play in the worst division in the NBA. Remember that before the Raptors went on their run last year, it was thought that the Atlantic Division winner would not even have a winning record. The Raptors won the division with a record of only six games above .500 while the Nets were a six seed in the playoffs with a .500 record of 41-41. Boston should win more than half their games. If Pierce and Allen get hot for a few weeks it’s possible they can win their division. Personally I’m looking forward to seeing Al Jefferson and Glen “Big Baby� Davis on the court at the same time. Those are two huge athletic guys that can definitely hold down the interior in the East.

On a side note:
The union of Allen and Pierce will work better than the Anthony/Iverson combo because of outside shooting. The Nuggets are desperate for outside shooting, making it easier for teams to double down on Melo and AI, they need someone to spread the floor. With both Allan and Pierce outside shooting will not be an issue for the Celtics.

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