Dwight Howard vs. US M1 Abrams Tank — A Comparative Study

	M1 Abrams Tank	Dwight Howard
Origins	Entered service in 1980	Born 1985
Weight	61 tons	225 pounds
Manufacturer	General Dynamics Corporation	Son of Dwight Sr. and Cheryl Howard
Versatility	Travels at speeds up to 45 mph, heavily armored with high-powered canon	Plays both power forward and center positions
Precision	Accurate canon from 1.8 miles away	Currently leads NBA with .618 field goal percentage
Durability	Has never been destroyed by fire from an opposing tank	First rookie straight out of high school to start all 82 games for his team
Intimidation Factor	32 feet long, 8 feet tall, covered in camouflaged armor	See a picture of Howardâ€™s shoulders
Lesser Known Talents	With modifications can travel at speeds up to 60 mph	Sang in high school choir
Weaknesses	Undisclosed by US Government	Currently averages 3.39 turnovers per game
Current Mission	Currently assisting the US military in its global war on terror	â€œI think this year we can go all the wayâ€¦All the way to the championship.â€? â€“Dwight Howard