What Eugene “Mercury” Morris is doing to himself on the television lately is pathetic. The only conclusion I can come to is that he has reached the M.C. Hammer of his career. Maybe his latest antics will secure him a spot on the next Surreal Life. Who knows?Morris was a two-time All-America tailback at West Texas A&M, made three Pro Bowls during his nine-year professional career and — the one stat he will never forget — he was a contributing member to the infamous Miami Dolphins team who went undefeated (17-0) in 1972.

Maybe he longs for the spotlight of television cameras. Maybe he is hard up for cash and found an opportunity to make a few extra dollars. Whatever the case may be, the fact is, he’s a grown ass ex-NFL player rapping on TV — sure, we have plenty of those so what’s new, right? — and out of his element.

Right now people are watching Morris gloat and rap and belittle those stinkin’ Pats to no end and thinking one of a few things:

1. “This must be how all those ‘72 Dolphins feel! Surely there’s a team rap out there somewhere!”
2. “I’d buy his CD!”
3. “Wow… let it go.”

Count me as one in category 3. Morris is embarrassing himself. He’s letting ESPN turn him into the network’s very own Flavor Flav — a black man with a short but famous career, placed in a spot where he can make money by acting a fool on television.

Consider it a job well done on the WWL’s part; they “flipped” Morris. More than likely they took advantage of his not-so-stellar post-NFL record and saw an opportunity to cash in on the big story of the defiant ‘72 Dolphins player openly and bitterly rooting against the ‘07 Patriots who seem all but ready to make Morris eat his claim that no one can repeat what they did.

His Wikipedia page has already been altered to make the “Mercury Morris Rap” a moment of his e-history –

On December 5, 2007, Morris went on ESPN’s Sportscenter and rapped about the 1972 Dolphins being the only team that will ever go undefeated in an NFL season. Morris was on ESPN with Josh Elliott in response to the New England Patriots undefeated record of 12-0, which, at the time, was 5 games short of matching the ‘72 Dolphins.

Everyone is going to point out that the ‘72 Dolphins didn’t have to play as many games as teams do now. And they will point to the contrast in passing yardage and points between those Dolphins and these Patriots and say the Pats are a far more dominant offense. But the amazing feat in ‘72 has not been repeated; the record has stood for the past 35 years and nobody has taken that away — yet.

All records are meant to be broken, though. By way of rule changes (See: 3-point line in NBA in contrast with historical scoring numbers), player enhancements (See: Every baseball slugging record in the past… hell, who can limit it to a decade anymore?) or by way of life in general.

What goes up, must come down. Records are set, spirits are lifted; Don Shula, Morris and the gang are happy and on a high. Eventually, that ends.

Even if the Patriots don’t do it this year, down the line someone will go undefeated. Maybe a hundred years from now — anyone want to guess how many more years the league will be around? — but the possibility isn’t zero. If the Patriots found a way to be dominant during this free agency era, surely another team will stumble upon a similar winning formula. (Side question/Pot shot: Would a surveillance camera be involved…?)

But I get it. Morris has every right to be defensive and root against the Patriots. It’s like an only child hearing their parents are trying to get pregnant again. Eventually he and his team will not be alone. They will have to share the spotlight and attention that comes with the record they hold. Fans may or may not love the ‘72 Dolphins the same again — a cold, hard fact of life.

But the last thing Morris needs to do is belittle himself for the WWL. His emotions are raw and feelings hurt. He feels disrespected and says so all over the network, including in his latest rap. But enough is enough.

Someone please yank the spotlight away from that man, fast. The last thing we need is a bitter old record-holder claiming there’ll never be another like him and trying to say his team is much better than the current dominant team in the league — especially if it’s in told in a rhyme.

Which brings to mind yet another scare… Lord, help us if he drops this album for real.