Luck has never been readily available in my life. In fact, as it has been said many times, “if it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have luck.” Fantasy football has been no exception to the rule. Instead it has been a cruel demonstration of how unlucky I am. Consider in 2007, four times a receiver scored 30+ fantasy points versus my squads. Fast forward to today and, one week into the season, I have already had three 30+ point performances posted against me. That’s only a small problem when your first and second round picks were Brady and Colston. Let me keep reaching for the cheese.

I began playing fantasy football in 2000 without knowledge of the phenomenon that was so soon to follow. Nearly every player I drafted fell into a land of obscurity. Eddie George displayed MVP numbers in 2000. After drafting George 3rd overall in the 2001 draft, he produced pedestrian numbers. Ricky Williams totaled over 2200 yards in 2002, but in 2003 (on my fantasy team), he produced 500 yards and 7 touchdowns beneath his 2002 totals. These are just a few of the numerous examples that led me to understand I was unintentionally destroying careers.

Destroying careers needed an accurate name. Fantasy Protection Program. If you are a #1 QB, RB, or WR and want to perform as a #4, join the squad. We’ll protect you from the pressures of performance. Provide you with names irrelevant to the fantasy world such as Heath Schuler, Tatum Bell (unless your fantasy league provides points for sprinting thru hallways with a former teammate’s bags), and Courtney Taylor (35 catches this season? Please comment). Many would consider this a curse, but in the business of fantasy football, I hold the kryptonite to Superman. I have the power to affect football seasons by simply stating a name.

Superheroes are completely useless until one can harness his powers. However, evil can spray powers in all directions without care or concern for others. Evil usually does not have the mental stability necessary for complete destruction. Lack of stability almost always leads to evil’s demise. With that said, if evil powers are harnessed can they be considered good? Depends on who you ask.

As the evil Patriots had established a dynasty I attempted to summon my “evil” powers, before the 07 football season, by drafting as many Patriots as possible. As I stated previously, my fantasy selections lead to the demise of careers. Even with powers centralized I was unable to land a single Patriot (there’s a fine line between attempting to destroy evil while winning a fantasy title). The Patriots then produced two of the greatest fantasy seasons in history. Let alone almost walking into Mercury Morris’ door. Coincidence? Not a chance.

Determined to not allow evil to ruin the ‘08 season, I fired cannonballs at the Patriots’ ship. Selecting 4th in the Bugfockers fantasy football draft, I was just outside the first tier of running backs. Tom Brady was not going to throw 95,045,832 passes without me joining the ride. “I’ll take Tom Brady.” Many thanks ensued as my powers have become very well known. Seven days later we all witnessed the first cause and effect of my selection. The attack on the Patriots ship was successful, but the counter-attack on the Fantasy Protection Program was just as deadly. One difference — the captain is no longer on the Patriots’ ship.

Left quarterback-less, the waiver wire decision-making process began. I desperately needed a running back to help boost production from my backs (mainly because I did not select a running back until round 6… I’m screwed). The Patriots’ Sammy Morris was the easy choice – to sink their ship and try to keep mine afloat. The quarterback options were, but not limited to: Pennington, Edwards, Jackson, and Cassel. Originally I was inclined to choose Pennington, but then, remembering an injured Drew Bledsoe birthing the career of Tom Brady, I changed course. Will Cassel’s situation be the same? Not if I can help it.

When you take out the captain you can’t leave mates to control the boat. You must sink the whole damn ship. If my fantasy ship sinks during battle, then so be it. Patriot’s fans get out your life vests – I’m already wearing mine.

As we make our way into the Senior Circuit, we come across a group of Double-A teams that have banded together to form a division. They really aren’t that bad, but there isn’t a single team in the NL West that holds a mark above .500. The Diamondbacks and Dodgers are atop this scrap heap, both with marks of 48-50; which, if they played in the NL East they would be 5 games back, and 10 games back in the NL Central. The Rockies’ return to stiffville has been much documented, but they fortuitously find themselves at a very manageable 6 games off the lead. The Giants, who are in full out rebuilding mode, are not out of the chase as they stand at 8 games back. The Padres are pulling up the rear at 11.5 games out, and only the desire not to finish in the basement keeps this team from cancelling the remainder of the season.

Arizona burst out of the gate back in April, but have since come back to earth as their youthful offense has sputtered, a bit. Left-fielder, Eric Byrnes, has been injured for much of the season, and will likely miss the remainder of it with hamstring issues. Chris Young is hitting his usual .230, and the power is still there, but he hasn’t been running with the frequency that made him a 30/30 man, last season. The young guns, Stephen Drew, Justin Upton, Conor Jackson, Mark Reynolds, Emilio Estevez, and Kiefer Sutherland, have all posted respectable numbers. Upton (43, 11, 31, .242) and Reynolds (62, 19, 60, .249) both raked for the first month, but immediately remedied that problem by stinking it up in May, only to regain their ability to hit major league pitching in June. Reynolds, as you can see, has put up solid power numbers, but has also struck out an astounding 115 times, already. Look for him to eclipse 200 Ks, and the Diamondbacks to find a way to harness that wind energy to save money on the electric bill. Conor Jackson (55, 9, 48, .307) has turned into a solid hitter, reminiscent of a young Johnny Olerud.

The name of the game in Arizona is pitching, as they have talked two of the game’s best pitchers into wearing their uniform for the year. Brandon Webb has been as solid as they come for the past 4-5 seasons, and is again performing at a high level with a line that includes a 3.11 ERA, 1.16 WHIP, 116/36 K/BB ratio, and a 13-4 record. Danny Haren, like Webb, throws a filthy sinkerball, and some might argue he’s pitched better than Webb, thus far. He is currently sporting a 2.58 ERA, a 0.98 WHIP of questionable legality, a 199/24 K/BB ratio, but a pedestrian and unlucky 9-5 record. Micah Owings, as with the rest of the team, played over his head for the first month of the season, but now owns an ERA above 5.00. Randy Johnson has been dominant at points this year, but his inability to stay healthy has, and will continue, to prevent any return to his Cy Young form. Doug Davis has made a courageous and inspirational return from thyroid cancer, and I applaud Arizona for conducting itself like a high class organization in holding his roster spot as he recovered. The guy that lost out on that roster spot is Max Scherzer, who is currently in Triple-A. Remember that name because once he learns to harness his 99 mph heater and develops a legitimate 2nd pitch to compliment it, it’s going to be a comedy show every 5th day in Arizona. Brandon Lyon emerged as the closer after the offseason departure of the always volatile, Jose Valverde. He’s converted 20 of 25 save chances, and while his 3.86 ERA and 1.29 WHIP are nothing short of mediocre, his 28/8 K/BB ratio remains solid.

On paper, the big market Dodgers are stacked, and it’s easy to understand why they would be the preseason favorites to win the division. Once again we are reminded why they play the games, because L.A. has not lived up to such a billing. Injuries have absolutely ravaged their roster, as Andruw Jones, Juan Pierre, Rafael Furcal, Nomar Garciaparra, Jeff Kent, Brad Penny, Hiroki Kuroda, and Takashi Saito have all spent time on the DL. Furcal was hitting .366 before injuring his back, and is likely to miss the remainder of the season. Closer, Takashi Saito, will likely befall the same fate as an elbow injury has kept him out of action. Juan Pierre was looking like the player of old, and had already swiped 35 bases, but a sprained knee ligament will keep him out until roughly mid-August. On a positive note, I think the Dodgers fortunes improved a bit with the injuries to Penny and Jones (not that I want to see anyone get hurt). Penny, who is usually an ace quality pitcher, posted horrendous numbers that include a 5.88 ERA, an unspeakable 1.60 WHIP, and a K/BB ratio of 47/36. Jones, who signed a 2 year $36.2 million contract and has apparently pawned his ability to hit a baseball in exchange for his monster 2006 season, has long been under the Mendoza line (.164 Avg). He has recorded 171 official at-bats, but has ended 61 of those with a K, and has a mere 2 home runs and 11 RBI to show for his efforts.

All things considered, the Dodgers have not played poorly. James Loney (47, 8, 51, .296) continues to develop into a premiere hitter, and I would expect him to compete for a batting title or two down the road. Russell Martin (50, 10, 47, .295) is probably the most athletic catcher in the league. When injuries created a gaping hold at 3b, the Dodgers didn’t call a player up from their farm system, they put Martin there. He also ranks 3rd on the team in steals, as he has swiped 10 bags in 14 chances. Young studs, Andre Ethier (50, 11, 43, .280) and Matt Kemp (50, 10, 53, .285), continue to blossom as injuries have given them the chance to play everyday.

The pitching in L.A. has been hampered by injury and sub-par performance. Derek Lowe has been his usual inconsistent self (3.97 ERA, 7-8 record), and future ace, Chad Billingsley (3.32 ERA, 9-9 record, but a whopping 133 Ks), has experienced his own ups and downs. Chan Ho Park has somehow weaseled his way back into a rotation spot, which had led me to write the F.C.C. asking for a parental lock to be placed on all of his performances, as its best to think of the welfare of the kids in matters such as these. Uber-prospect, Clayton Kershaw, was called up and pitched well, initially; however, his lack of control led the Dodgers to pull the plug on that project. With Saito injured, the usually dominant Jonathan Broxton has taken over the closing duties. Broxton was lit up early in the year, but he still features a 49/16 K/BB ratio, and I expect him to excel in the role.

Colorado has experienced a fall from grace this year, but that shouldn’t be a huge surprise to anyone if we keep in mind that underneath the fancy garb Cinderella was still a pauper. The middle infield has been decimated, with starting shortstop, Troy Tulowitzki, and backup infielder, Clint Barmes, both missing significant time with injuries. Despite missing time, Tulowitzki is still the proud owner of a .166 batting average, so I’m not sure how detrimental to the offense his absence could have been. The void created around the 2nd base bag has given rise to a promising young player, however; Jeff Baker (37, 7, 33, .280), who has taken full advantage of his well deserved chance to play on an everyday basis. Rockies mainstay, Todd Helton, has seen his already diminished power efface even further, and has been sidelined recently with an ailing back. On the positive side, last season’s M.V.P. runner-up, Matt Holliday (55, 16, 55, .332), and third baseman, Garrett Atkins (57, 14, 59, .305), continue to take advantage of Colorado’s accommodating air.

The pitching, as is required by Colorado law, has stunk. Jeff Francis (5.67 ERA, 1.55 WHIP, 67/40 K/BB, 3-7 record), last season’s ace, has not looked like the same pitcher that won 17 games in 07’. Franklin Morales (6.39 ERA, 1.78 WHIP, 17/9 K/BB, 1-2 record) and Ubaldo Jimenez (4.20 ERA, 1.51 WHIP, 98/63 K/BB, 5-9 record), two of last season’s pleasant surprises, have not met with the same success. Jimenez has turned things around in recent weeks, and I expect him to have a solid 2nd half; but, Morales is mired in Triple-A and likely won’t factor into the Rockies’ plans in 08’. Last season’s stud closer, Manny Corpas (5.03 ERA, 1.49 WHIP, 32/17 K/BB, 4 saves), chucked and ducked his way out the closer’s gig, only to regain his dominant form over the last 6 weeks. Former closer, Brian Fuentes (3.32 ERA, 1.13 WHIP, 41/11 K/BB, 16 saves), took over the job and has pitched so well that the Rockies can’t stop talking about shipping him out of town.

Life without Barry Bonds has made San Francisco a bit quieter these days, then again, that could the rampant losing, as well. The white flag was hoisted at Pac-Bell during the offseason, effectively making the 08’ season a running open tryout for 09’. The Giants’ offense does not feature a single player with a double digit home run total (J. Bowker and A. Rowand are tied with 9). Big offseason acquisition, Aaron Rowand (42, 9, 51, .289), has played well considering he has no protection in the lineup, nobody on base to drive in, and plays in a much tougher venue to hit for power in. It’s easy to say he hasn’t justified his 5-year $60 million contract, but I don’t think I’m alone when I say I saw it coming (and he probably did, too). Randy Winn (49, 5, 39, .280), also, has met with mediocrity for many of the same reasons. The rest of the offense will likely be charged with the heinous crime of impersonating a ballplayer, and shall remain nameless in an effort to protect the accused and their families.

The pitching has been a different story for the Giants, and I didn’t even blush after typing that. Tim Lincecum (2.79 ERA, 1.27 WHIP, 143/51 K/BB, 11-3 record) chucks the bean. Period. His K/BB ratio is simply dominant, and the fact that he’s put together an 11-3 record with a morgue full of stiffs providing run support for him, is nothing short of amazing. Matt Cain (4.08 ERA, 1.34 WHIP, 126/58 K/BB, 5-8 record) and Jonathan Sanchez (4.10 ERA, 1.38 WHIP, 123/55 K/BB, 8-5 record) have both had their off days, but have helped establish a reputation for power pitching in San Francisco. Barry Zito (5.62 ERA, 1.79 WHIP, 62/60 K/BB, 4-12 record) has been steadily making a case for being one of the worst free agent signings in sports history (7-year, $126 million). This guy won the 02’ AL Cy Young, and his patented 12-6 curveball led to Zito being annually ranked on the Wildlife Channel’s ’10 Deadliest Animals’ segment. How the mighty have fallen. In the bullpen, closer Brian Wilson, has been able to convert 25 of 27 save chances despite an ERA right under 5.00. See, miracles do happen.

Oh, Tony Gwynn, where hath thou gone? The Padres offense, for the most part, is not a thing to be feared by opposing pitchers. I know the fact that they play in an ocean sized ball park doesn’t help much, but only Arizona and the lowly Nationals have a lower team average (.249). Despite that fact, Adrian Gonzalez (57, 22, 74, .279) continues to develop into a premiere slugger. Just imagine if he played in Texas or Philly; he’d have 35 jacks by now. Stud prospect, Chase Headley (10, 6, 14, .269), was finally called up and has provided a spark in the lineup. Khalil Greene (28, 9, 33, .214), despite his horrendous numbers, remains one of the slickest fielding shortstops out, as well as a personal favorite of mine.

The Padre pitching has seen better days, as inconsistency has marred what was thought to be a solid staff. Jake Peavy (2.66 ERA, 1.12 WHIP, 100/27 K/BB, 7-6 record) spent some time on the DL with an elbow strain, and remains one of the top 2 or 3 pitchers in the game. #2, Chris Young (4.50 ERA, 1.48 WHIP, 51/33 K/BB, 4-4 record), has been sidelined with a fractured skull since taking an Albert Pujols missle off the grill. He luckily sustained no serious injury, and he remains on schedule to return in August. The Professor, Greg Maddux (4.21 ERA, 1.27 WHIP, 63/25 K/BB, 3-8 record), continues to defy Father Time and educate us all on the art of pitching every 5th day. Hall of Fame bound, Trevor Hoffman (4.91 ERA, 1.26 WHIP, 35/6 K/BB, 18 saves), has successfully converted 18 or 21 save attempts, and as you can see, also sports a phenomenal 35/6 K/BB ratio.

I might as well draw names out of a hat, or throw darts at a board to pick this division. It might very well come down to which team is able to make a deal before the deadline, but going on each team’s current roster, Arizona is my winner. Their offense is young and inconsistent, but their pitching is top notch, and I would expect that to carry them to the finish line. L.A. has a pretty strong lineup, and a few key guys returning from injury, but I think the injury bug has been much too busy for the Dodgers to outlast Arizona (without a deal, that is). The Rockies are truly not as bad as they’ve played, and with a few guys coming back from injury they should be expected to make a run. Ultimately, the pitching is simply not strong enough, and I don’t see guys like Francis suddenly returning to form. The Giants and Padres don’t have a shot. The Giants have got to be surprised to be as close as they are, and the Padres, despite a potentially strong pitching staff, are simply too far back at this point. I expect to see the final standings look like this: Arizona, L.A., Colorado, San Diego, San Francisco.

Tonight’s NCAA Men’s Hoops Championship game pits two very talented squads, Kansas and Memphis, against one another a mere two days after each dismantled the other two best teams in the nation — quite handily, I must say.

I am still reeling from my ‘heels getting that big Kansas D put on them… but for those sticking around and online tonight, go check out The Starting Five ’s live blog.

Game already started so no valid prediction here — rooting for that scrappy, grimy Memphis squad. Who doesn’t love the guilty pleasure of watching a “one-tourney stand” show, a la Carmelo Anthony n’ that there Orange squad?

*If folks weren’t around to keep up, Mizzo @ The Starting Five kept a great live blog during one of the most exciting NCAA Hoops National Championship games in a long, long time. We dropped off a few comments, trying to keep up as we watched Mr. Rose play what will most likely be his last college game ever.

Please, oh please, Mr. Fav…rah, prove me right.

The man inevitably headed to the NFL Hall of Fame is quite possibly (rumors, innuendo and potato chip dust says so) considering sticking around to play with another team.

(Thanks to TheBigLead for point this out.)

Are the folks (like me) who picked all four No. 1 seeds to make the Final Four ingenious, or simply lucky?

Admittedly, I take myself out of the running for the “ingenious” category. As I said when I first offered my pick ‘ems, I did not follow all teams as closely as in previous years (though, don’t get it twisted, I watched a good amount of games) before filling out my bracket. Others may not admit to this, but I remain true to my “honesty is the best policy” approach.

The bracket I submitted is only doing well because of those remaining Final Four picks. Other folks in the pool chose more upsets (obviously) and though our pool rewards the upset picks (you get points for the difference in ranks in upsets… 12 defeats 5 gets you 7 extra points), they are reaping what they sowed in the risk they took.

High risk can equal high reward… until it doesn’t.

ESPN’s Andy Katz says the NCAA Selection Committee got it right this year.

That plays right into my question: How you can tell the difference between lucky and ingenious in this situation?

Can you smell that strong, refreshing, good old fashioned new stadium smell?

That, my friends, is the brand spankin’ new workplace of the Washington Nationals.

Tomorrow night, Nationals Park, located on 1500 South Capitol Street in Washington, D.C., opens up for business amid all the fanfare, attention and over-the-top adoration one can expect from the District.

President George W. Bush will throw out the inaugural first pitch. F16s will fly overhead. ESPN will broadcast the event on its nationally-viewed network.

Every bell and whistle is out and in motion, only one thing left — Play Ball!

Brett Fav-rah, you heartless brute, you. Didn’t you know retiring from an adoring, groupie-filled league would have an adverse effect on the economy? Why didn’t you think about others, sir, when deciding to hang up the stubble and cleats?

The NFL Network is placing employees on the chopping block. More cuts will be upcoming, considering they will no longer spend months on end enduring Wisconsin blizzards, shooting everything from “Grass cam” to “Favre’s Thoughts Cam.”

The damage is not yet complete.

Mind you, the country is in the midst of a recession (even if the president of the U.S.A. cannot utter the words because of either pride or literacy issues) and all Favre seems to think of is himself. Ah, the nerve of some superstars, I tell ya.

If John Madden “steps down” from his post, I’m starting a new blog called “BrettFavreTheRecessionStarter.com” and outing #4 for national crises-starter he truly is!

Favre finally had his press conference.

Many attended, knowing what he would say: “I retire.”

He said he appreciated a lot of the time, thought he reached his threshold.

Promised not to cry.

Then cried.

“I promised I wouldn’t get emotional,” he said. But as the tears flowed, he added, “I’ve watched hundreds of players retire and you wonder what that would be like. You think you’re prepared …”

Think his promise to not come back can be trusted?

Don’t be naive.

UPDATE:
AOL Fanhouse had a link to a video tribute to Favre’s career interceptions… quite entertaining. “Simply the Best” plays in the background…

I heard the radio announcements, read the glowing, teary-eyed eulogies and can already picture the cheese-tastic Wisconsin parade upcoming. The thing is, I just don’t believe Brett Favre has taken his last snap in the NFL.

He still has more linemen to taunt, young wanna-be gunslingers to harass and reckless throws to make.

There are more receivers to hoist over his head after TD passes, more face masks to grab after someone doesn’t hustle quite enough, more ringing endorsements to receive from John Madden and the rest of the press corps.

Last year we saw the same Favre we’ve seen in the past. He made the big throws, hyped his team like a jubilant young buck, passed along knowledge when needed and, most of all, the reason most of us enjoyed watching Favre-led teams play, he played like he was in the back yard of his childhood home, among friends, having the time of his life.

Call me a skeptic, but I don’t believe we’ve seen the last of the Great American Gunslinger.

Vinny Testeverde played until he was well into his 60s (or something along those lines… ha), so why can’t the toughest QB of his era (and arguably of every era) stick around a few more years?

Last year’s numbers show he hasn’t lost “it” –  4,155 passing yards, 28 TDs, 66.5% completion — so if the right situation presented itself, why wouldn’t he hop in on a contender and keep the good times a rollin’?

No one would argue the fire still burning within Favre. What would stop him from listening to an owner who heads a team with viable pieces but a questionable QB core, willing to offer a Roger Clemens-like prorated half-season deal? He could be the ultimate closer for a team looking to hire a gunslinger to push their team into the playoffs.

The great All-American comeback is already written for Favre.

Sure, he’ll say what “retired” folk typically do at this point. But as the days go on, the itch to return will get increasingly aggravating. Can the Great American Gunslinger resist the urge to return?

The Favre I know and enjoy couldn’t possibly miss out on a good time like that.

Way back in 2004, the Philadelphia Eagles conducted a very revealing study: “The Terrell Owens Experiment.” The aim was to overcome a recent string of big, late-season losses (three-straight NFC Championship L’s) by combining their jovial, fun-loving All-Pro leader and quarterback, Donovan McNabb, with a reputed team nuisance, All-Pro receiver, Terrell Owens.

Year one’s findings were positive: the McNabb/T.O. combo produced 14 touchdowns, 1200 yards and an average of 15.6 yards through 77 connections in the regular season; and, despite losing Owens for four games due to injury (two regular season games,and the division and conference championship game), the Eagles reached the Super Bowl.

Year two’s findings resulted in absolute chaos, causing the Eagles to be weary of high-paid free agents. After the Super Bowl, T.O. decided he wanted to rip up the multi-year contract he signed a year earlier and get more money. In-house conflicts ensued — T.O. blamed McNabb for the S.B. loss, and for being selfish (!) — and once the Eagles refused to rework the contract and Owens’ world-famous rambunctious ways took over, “the experiment” officially ended by way of a T.O. dismissal from the team.

Up until this year, and ever since the T.O.-burning, the Eagles remained weary of big-name free agents. They were like a kid who broke their heart for the first time — too scared to jump right back in take another risk.

But just as if it were a clear sign from the football gods, another reputed team troublemaker of sorts, Randy Moss, hit the market this free agent season.

Fresh off a 1400+ yard, 23 TD season and, most importantly, 0 team disputes, the Eagles chose to set aside their lingering pain to take yet another chance at something with the potential to produce NFL magic.

The Eagles missed out on Moss — he resigned with the Patriots for 3 years, $27 mil today ($15 mil in guarantees) — but reportedly made a run at the All-Pro receiver, offering him more than what he signed for (ESPN’s John Clayton said during an interview the number was around $10 mil per).

According to ProFootballTalk.com’s Rumor Mill –

The Eagles, as reported elsewhere, offered a higher annual average than the Patriots. The Eagles also offered more guaranteed money than did the Pats.

But it was a day of high drama. The process went back and forth between the Eagles and the Patriots. At one point, the Eagles thought they had him. Then, it looked like the Pats had him. Then the Eagles. Then the Patriots.

One source said that the Pats won Moss “at the wire.”

Moss, as we’re told, was afraid to leave a place where he’s happy after being unhappy for so many years before that.

The Eagles, as we understand it, knew that Moss was inclined to return to New England but decided to be aggressive.

*insert applause here*

Kudos to the Eagles for making a run at arguably the best receiver of his era, despite being burned in the old, lingering feelings left behind after “The T.O. Experiment.” Shame on them if they let their motivation to get an All-Pro receiver die out here and now.

With the signing of All-Pro cornerback Asante Samuel (ex-Patriot), the Eagles established their willingness to spend, and at the same time opened up a clear path for disgruntled DB Lito Shepard (wants a new contract) to be dangled as trade bait.

Use that bait to land McNabb an All-Pro receiver, and he’ll come through with an All-Pro year.

The evidence is there, clear as daylight. Brian Westbrook proved yet again that he is an amazing double-threat (rushing and receiving) and when it comes down to padding stats versus winning games, no one doubts were he stands (or, slides in this instance). Kevin Curtis had a great year, but would be best suited to assume a 2nd or 3rd option role at receiver. The team gained a new pass-rush specialist with the signing of ex-Raider Chris Clemons, adding to its 9th-ranked defense of 2007.

The team is well on its way — that is, if they finally make the most important move needed to put the team over the top. McNabb, Westbrook and Eagles fans deserve it.

Time is running out and, soon, patience will follow.

(Wonder if a “Fire Andy Reid” domain is available… might be able to sell that off to a crazy fan somewhere down the road…)